View Full Version : i dont find talking helps
this is a bit obscure but i just wanted to say that i think i may be suffering from PTSD as i had an event in my life some 6 years ago that i am sure traumatized me in more ways than even i am aware of. i am aware that this experience had a profound affect on me (now) but it was a while before i knew just how much. strangely enough as time goes on it doesnt seem to get any better. the old chesnut about 'time healing' is an alien concept to me with regards to this matter. another thing that strikes me as odd is that talking about what upset me does not help me in the way that it is traditionally meant to do (a problem shared is a problem halved) infact it has the reverse effect and compounds my problem enormously. can anybody relate to that?
Rachel
may i also elaborate by saying that it took a long time for me to find somebody i felt i could talk to about the event itself and i was expecting that when i did get to that stage i would find the experience in some way cathartic (sp). much to my dismay after finding it so hard to finally open up to somebody about my feelings i find that it is damaging me further (mentally) to talk about it and magnifying an obsession that ive had with this traumatizing experience since it happened (albeit a secret obsession that only i knew i was constantly reliving revisiting and analysing) my symptoms seem to be the obsessive going over of the event in my mind, flashbacks, nightmares, and a feeling that i cant ever get past it or let go of it. incidently the person i confided in was excellent (listening sympathetic and non judgemental) so thats not the problem.
(cont) if indeed it is a 'problem' that talking does not help me because of course perhaps the whole concept is a fallacy. what do you think? is this odd? does this sound like PTSD to you? and if it does is this not finding relief through talking business a common factor?
sorry for the overload and long winded explanation but if you could shed some light i would really appreciate your thoughts.
thanks
Rachel
hello Rachel,
I guess everyone is different with these things. It always helps me to talk to people so I can't really relate. It could be that keeping things to yourself is better for you..
Sarah :D
hi when you talk about it are you talking to someone who is qualified in whatever it is you went through or just someone you know, have you tried speaking to people with the same experiences about this as in a web site like this but for whatever it is you went through..........did that make any sense? sorry
fan x
bluebottle
10-02-05, 12:43
OK, I have sufferered from PTSD. I may still be, I don't know. It is something that I eventually had to let go after suffering 12 years of trauma. I didn't get any help, but if you can get help I advise you to get it from a PTSD specialist. Talking to your local surgery's counselor won't help. It didn't help me, even though she was very nice it was as much use as chatting to my sister.
PTSD is difficult to understand, but I felt that unless I left what happened to me in the past I would never have a future. That means trying to leave the anger and bitterness behind, and move on.
You may be interested to know that Lustral is given to some people with PTSD.
Oh, and to answer your question "can anybody relate to that?" Yes I certainly can, your not unusual.
Regards,
Blue
--
Take little steps
Hi Sarah thanks for your reply.
Hi Fan in answer to your question no the person i eventually confided in was not a professional it was my loving and longsuffering husband. to be honest i don't really know where to start as in sites and organizations for my specific problem and to be even more honest i am a bit scared of hearing others talk about similar experiences as mine like it might make me worse or something.
on the subject of honesty that brings me on to Bluebottle's reply thanks for your comments, the bit about letting go of the anger and bitterness really rang true for me once i was prepared to admit that anger and bitterness are my two most overriding emotions in all this. i am glad you found the strength to let go and i think i should consider this as my way foward also. by the way do you know how i can get in touch with a professional PTSD counsellor please? thanks
Rachel
just reread your reply bluebottle and noted you said you didnt get any help in the end. was this because you couldnt face it? or another reason? because you seem aware of the right path to go down in respect of therapy etc. sorry to be nosy. please inbox me if you prefer. i feel like i want to deal with this and sometimes i don't i just want to bury it and go into denial because it seems a safer place to be. thanks
Rachel
Hi Rachel
I can understand you wanting to bury the memories and feelings associated with the PTSD. I also get the flashbacks and nightmares related to this and feel unable to put it behind me at present.
This is something I will be tackling with my therapist once other more pressing issues are dealt with first.
The treatment my therapist uses is something called the Rewind Technique (http://www.rewindtechnique.com/). There is another explanation of it here (http://www.psychotherapy-center.com/nlp_phobia_trauma_ptsd_treatment.html).
This technique does not require you to talk about the cause of the PTSD or talk to the therapist about it in detail.
There may be other treatment options and maybe this is something you could ask your doctor about.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
hi rachel,
Similar to yourself my feelings dont usually feel helped by 'talking about it', do other people feel lots of relief or is that just on the telly? Ive been in that situation a few times, of finally talking about it, only to ...... i suppose anti climax is the best word for it.
I have thought about this before and i'll attempt to list some reasons why i think it was\is like that for me.
It is a big deal, alot of strong feelings, it will take as long as it takes to emotionally come to terms with.
When i think about or flashback to something traumatic. im usually feeling my way through it, whether im doing it purposefully or its doing it to me - but i can talk about my feelings without necessarily feeling my way through them, making it a non event - on the flip side sometimes talking and listening can stir up bad memories.
Emotionally - i dont seem to take very much emotional support from others.
Being obsessive about a problem can become a problem of its own for me, its easy to get stuck in the obsession and lose sight of what is actually wrong i.e. this is happening and its making me feel like this .... so you dont actually get around to dealing with your feelings.
But i know this to be true, just because you dont get any instant emotional relief from talking, it doesnt mean it is not helping. It is a key part of learning to understand your problems and recovering from them, i dont think there is another way.
anyway hope this helped abit, take care ... andrew
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