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Ammars Story

I was born on fifth of February in 1963; I lived all my life in Saudi Arabia. Born in a Moslem family and I have a strong sense of belonging to this civilization yet I have many disagreements with most of Moslems. I am a happy active person with no inhibitions or preoccupations whatsoever. I was hardly affected or influenced by my surrounding. I used to adopt a style of life that contradicts with the Islamic concept of life. I used to lead a healthy life and the only complains I had were with my digestion system as I have esophagus hernia now and my snoring is pretty annoying for my wife

…. I am 170cm tall and weigh 83 kilos. I am a father of four children and been married since 1990.My financial life is stable yet the nature of my job is stressful as I run a company owned by my younger brother.

My agony started in July 2001 when I returned from Jordan after a vacation with my family (we are nine kids plus mum and dad). My wife's nephew drowned during the vacation and my youngest sister got married and my parents became alone.

I started to complain from pain in the left side of my nick and between my shoulder plates. One day I went to emergency one hour after lunch with fear of fainting and heart attack but released with a remark it is fatigue. I also started to feel numbness in my left arm. Sudden fear of death and sickness started to haunt my thoughts so I under took all kind of medical checks and all doctors insisted that there is nothing wrong with me but I never stopped visiting doctors for different sensations of pain in my body.

I became so sensitive to all the stories and incident of death and sickness that used to happen to friends and relatives. Till one day in July 2002 I went to the emergency room, dizzy, scared and with pain in my chest and was diagnosed as a psychosomatic patient I was given (cipram antidepressant and (XanaX), anti anxiety, which I used for three months till the symptoms disappeared.

Since then I experience similar feeling but with no tangible reason that I can relate to but sudden pain in my chest, left arm, and left side of my head, no sooner that these sensations start then I think of coming death or cancer or serious disease and I start to sweat, feel really scared and just want to be away from people so they don't see I am losing it. Once I take the (Xanax .25 mg) I feel better after an hour. I would like to put an end to this suffering and not become dependant on medications ….do you have any advice

Ammar