has anyone ever felt this bad?

am spiralling into an all time low and cannot believe anyone has felt this bad. i was coping reasonably well off meds (7 weeks now) but have had a horrendously stressful year. last week alone i had terrible ovulating pain which kept me up for 2 nights plus i had an awful reaction to a drug i was put on for stomach problems that put my anxiety through the roof and i had to take valium to calm down. i have also had 5 months of stomach problems which have been quite nasty. i started to feel better but have had 2 nights of no sleep whatsoever again and in the middle of the night my thoughts get blacker and blacker and include me dying because of the way i am feeling/being driven to kill myself (even thought i am not suicidal and want to get better) to me having to go into hospital, to not ever feeling better.

i am on beta blockers and have taken 2mg valium for the last few days. i know my gp will suggest anti depressants but i am so terrified they will make me feel worse like they have done before - i was literally climbing the walls for 2 wks before they kicked in.

has anyone ever felt this bad and got through?

yep simple answer yep..most of the time...wake up and all i think about is illness and negative thoughts...hospital etc...drives you mad in the end...yr defo not alone on this one...im worried to take anti depressants...dont wanna feel any worse than i feel already ...sure u will get lots of replies on this...

Hi Joanna

I have definitely been where you are now. I have had a dreadful time the last few weeks and in the end I have given in and gone back on the citalopram just to give myself some peace and quiet. It wasn't how I wanted to manage this, but as well as my own anxieties, there are a number of external stressors going on which I know I don't have any control over. All this added together meant that I felt as though I was drowning in it.

its this complete lack of sleep that is really distressing me. my mum has told me i cannot take any more valium or even consider going on sleeping tablets as they are the road to no where x

2mg of valium/diazepam is a really low dose and really should not cause any problems over a few weeks. Temazipam, related to valium, is one they dish out in the short term for sleep problems...... again, only meant for short term use.... 2-3 weeks max, but that can be enough to get you back on an even keel...... I found they helped me.

geoff

took 2mg last night for sleep but did nothing!

hey I was climbing the walls after a few stressful events, I was totally on edge, couldn't sleep more than an hour or two at a time, I have learned that with me, stress stops me from sleeping and lack of sleep gives me anxiety, it's such a hard cycle to break.

I started actually going to bed at 10pm and getting up at 9am for a month straight! I felt so much better, it was the first time in years where i was getting proper sleep.
then i got my period and was kept awake at night due to pain and anxiety and now my sleep pattern has gone again :-(

so lack of decent sleep really makes you feel worse.