getting to work again

I am Stu -a 47 year old "unpaid" counsellor who is struggling to get and settle into work that is paid. Had a job at post office last year but packed it in -in a flash as soon as I became victim of stupid pranks being played(commonplce and not personal to me, nevertheless). To even try this job was hard because I am well qualified and a masters graduate too. Yet even in situations where "under-employed" and not so demanding - I panic and take flight. Have not even tried to get a job in the last 12 months out of fear of the usual response and not being seen beyond my anxiety. Crazy really coz in the few "unpaid" counselling hours I do - I can be a "confident companion" to my clients and I get positive feedback -I cannot weigh it up. Anyone else experience similar?

stu

Perhaps the post office wasn't a good idea. A bit of a macho environment with an embedded prank culture. I think you just need to find the RIGHT job for you. The public sector (in my opinion) is a lot more supportive than the public sector by and large and often have systems of support for those of us who suffer from anxiety. Work takes my mind off my anxiety but I have to fight to sustain my employment on occasion. The effort you have made to gain your academic qualifications show that you have determination! Good luck

Kay

I think you are right Kay. I had issues as well because of the "us and them" thing. for me it was like undermining what I had acheived because it was siilar to the jobs i had when barely literate and semi-homeless. I used to mess about then and was "one of the lads" before I became ill.

Stu

hoose

Hi Stu

Are you like me? A person who 'mucked about' and then became mature student??? If so, it can be difficult to reassess who you are, eg., us or them!! However, it does make you more viable as an employee, particularly amongst more enlightened employers who value diverse employees. You can have fun with this - I run with the foxes and hunt with the hounds, straddling the dividing line quite comfortably. It confuses your bosses (because you 'get it' and they don't!!). Keeps them all on their toes as you have broken the stereotype! Go for it and have fun
Kay

yes Kay -the bosses don't like it, too. I sed to easily get into conflict situations due to my 2anxiety" - guess for a while I have stopped trying to get jobs. Too many "reminders" seemed to stop me.

hoose

Hi Stu,

I am in the same boat as you (a PTSD-er). I have had an excellent career and worked all over the world. And then delayed onset PTSD got me (11 years after the event). I haven't had a job proper for nearly four years. I presently have work as a consultant/adviser (I am an expert in my field) but am struggling to do even 10 or 15hrs per week.

I am replying to your post mostly because I had a profound experience last year. Following a self-harm event, a psychiatrist took me seriously and prescribed a med that no one else had thought of. It worked! I could make a telephone call! (something I was always anxious about before) and now I can do almost anything I want.

I'm not saying I'm cured. PTSD has still "got me" in other ways but anxiety is fixable and I need you to know this. In my case it was Moclobemide that zapped anxiety. It didn't help my mood but I can say I am not troubled by anxiety still.

This was after 6 years of "try this" and "try that"! We are all different though. What has worked for me may not work for you - but there is something that at the right dose will help you a _lot_.

One other thing I have learned is to be politely assertive with psychiatrists. I never go without my notes about the points I want to raise and I doggedly persist in raising every query. I also research PTSD and meds so I am properly informed - I feel that I am, in some way, involved in my journey to wellness.

I really hope you can get this beast (PTSD) settled.

sincerely,

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