how long will i stay stuck in this rut?

hi, ive had problems with anxiety, depression and panic attacks since i was 10 years old although none of this was properly diagnosed until a couple of years ago when i completely lost the plot. before that i had kept my problems hidden thinking i was just a crap, useless human being.
to cut a long and very dull story short i now find myself stuck in a rut. im home all day but spend most of it asleep, half the reason i don't go outside is cos i just cant be bothered to get up, washed and ready and our home looks like something off how clean is your house, which scares the life out of me cos of all those nasty germs just waiting to get me!
i would dearly love to wake up one day and find i can take on normal life but i find the simplest things completely overwhelming and can't seem to find the motivation. even before i got really ill i used to struggle to cope with everyday life and now its just ridiculous!
even things i love doing ,like my garden, i now can't sum up the energy to do and of course it doesnt help that im afraid to be seen outside in case someone talks to me or even just judges me.
i have an awful lot in my life to be grateful for and know that the problem is me not the world.
i used to think "just give it time and things will improve" but it's been 2 years now and i feel i need to do something instead of waiting for it to happen by itself.of course this is all complicated further by the fear of going outside, social anxiety etc.
im now totally fed up with this (as are my kids-my daughter has now moved to her dads) and am beginning to feel like i'm going to be stuck like this forever. i can't bear the thought that this will my childrens memories-never going out, mum asleep and smelly etc. what sort of life is that for them?
anyone got any ideas or magic wands?
thanks for reading this

scaredycat :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Cat if I had a magic wand I would wave it for many people on this site, especially those who have children and cant get out. All i can say is have a little faith in yourself, take one step at a time. I got to a stage where i was crawling on my hands and knees some days just to make my bed, I would get as far as the sofa and not be able to move.

You need to go a little easier on yourself, rome was not built in a day and neither was the cure for anxiety, some of us are still not cured but we know it can get better,

I am not sure of the answer but I do know you have to look deep inside yourself for some of the answers,

Dont let this eat you up, keep fighting it honey please for your sake you deserve better than this


Hugs for now



sue

scknight

Hey Cat,

Hang in there hun and as Sue says keep fighting. xxx


Take Care

Mandyxx

hi cat
(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
i know its really hard to believe theres any light at the end of that long black tunnel,but ther is an when you come out the other side you will be stronger person for it!!!!!!
take care hun
things will get better
rach x

Hi cat,stay strong pet,take a day at a time.Are you on any meds?

Ellen XX

thanks for your replies and yes ellen ive been on 60mg fluoxetine for 2yrs.thanks again.
scaredycat

The answers lie within its easy to get annoyed with the World but it has to come from within.
Stay positive and dont let other people make u feel u dont derserve what u want ever!

Hi Cat,

Your Post seems to suggest that you have hit rock-bottom.
Well,the only way is up!!!!
One day at a time,you can and will get over this-think of how much strength it has actually taken to cope with life so far.
Try to do one thing,e.g. clean one room,per day.Pretty soon,things will change.
Work at this and you will succeed!!!!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Best wishes,
Chalky

yOu need to get motivated, i agree with chalky. Make tomorrow the day things start to change, MAKE THAT CHANGE.

Cat,

Yes you do have to get doing stuff gradually - the way you feel you wouldn't be expected to get up one morning and spring clean the whole house.

Depression is awful and I have hit a little low myself. I just went on new meds 3 weeks ago and they haven't kicked in yet.

Also when you suffer anxiety and you can't make yourself go and do all this stuff that is meant to "pick us up" then what the hell can you do. I couldn't go and join a gym or go to some women's group or start yoga. I just could not do that alone - and I don't have any friends here so its just not as easy as people may think to "lift" yourself out of th is thing.

I see you have been on Prozac for a couple of years - good dosage as well. I wonder if the med has lost its' power - has it pooped out? Did the med work better in the beginning? If so then it may well have lost its efficacy for you and maybe a change of med is required.

It is like being stuck in a rut and it is all very soul destroying but the one thing we must not do is give up hope. Tomorrow is another day and I will do a little of what I can. That is the only way I'm sure.

Take good carexxxxx