Introduction for a lack of better word :)

I'm an 18-year-old male residing in County Durham, U.K. I think about death obsessively and fear it greatly due to the nightmares I've had all my life involving the eternal black void of torture after death and hypnagogic hallucinations of severed human heads permanently attached to large poles, resulting in health anxiety and hypochondria. I also have anorexia nervosa and worry a lot about my weight. I was prescribed olanzapine in March 2022 due to extreme calorie anxiety that was so extreme that every meal was a panic attack and I only ate dry unprocessed food because I feared all of the food was contaminated with thousands of calories (it was so extreme I wouldn't place things in my bedroom in certain locations). I still take it and although I no longer have anxiety about contamination, I still suffer from anxiety but about different things, the crap I already elaborated on. I get panic attacks every so often that sometimes get so extreme I cry very loud. I also suffer from social anxiety and worry a lot about how others perceive me.