Guess who's back... back again / CBT?

Hello all,

I hope everyone who's reads this post is ok and feeling a lot better than I am.

Been suffering from anxiety / panic / depression on and off for a year now. It seems to happen in cycles. I'll have a panic attack usually due to worrying about things and stress in general, this happens when I'm in bed (it's happened 3 times now). The next day when I wake up I'll feel anxious and this anxious feeling stays with me 24 - 7 for months, causing me to get depressed. It slowly fazes out until I start to feel normal and my happy self again and then when I'm 99% better it happens all over again.

Over the past 2 months I felt like I had fully recovered and felt happier than I have done in years! I felt like I had finally got my life back after a year of being up and down like a yo-yo. Then on Wednesday I had a very bad day at work and other personal factors were playing on my mind making me feel bad about myself (I'm a very insecure person even though everyone I tell this too is amazed because I hide it so well) and when I went to bed my mind was racing and I ended up starting to feel a bit like a panic attack was on the way so I had a beta-blocker (for the first time in about 5 months) and it calmed me down but I still didn't sleep well. I woke up racked with anxiety and it feels like I've been knocked back to square one. While I've been getting better I've experienced bad days out of the blue but this feels different, it feels like I'm at the beginning of the cycle again. :( It's now Saturday and I can still feel that nervousness... It's the kind of feeling you get when you waiting for something bad to happen... like waiting for someone to attack you... but it's constantly there 24 - 7 and when it's really bad it can get my mind racing and make me start to feel panicky. [V]

I can live with this as I've been through it before and I know I'm not going to go mad (like I thought the first time I had it):) and each time this cycle happens it feels a little bit easier to cope with (only a little though it's still a nightmare) because I've been here before. But it's just so draining and leaves me feeling desperately unhappy. I want to see the back of it forever... but I'm starting to wonder whether this is something that I'm just going to have to accept that I'll be fighting throughout my whole life.

I've been to the doctors on a number of occasions. The first time I started suffering from panic / anxiety / depression I was put on tranquilizers as I was in a bad way as I'd never experienced this before and it really scared me as I'm used to being able to control myself, my emotions and my mind very well so this really shook me up. The doctors then wanted to put me on anti-depressants but I'm not having it. I feel as though they aren't for me. I'd rather try and deal with this illness head on without trying to mask it.

I'm lucky in that I have a number of very supportive people, friends, girlfriend and family etc that I have been able to talk too about all this when it starts to feel like it's too much to cope with on my own.

So, I'm getting really fed up with this anxiety etc and in my opinion the NHS have proved with flying colours that they are useless at trying to treat any mental illness... errrr is anxiety / depression / panic a mental illness? Anyway I'm through with the NHS and I'm considering taking Cognitive Behavioural Therapy privately. Is there anyone who knows whether this actually works? Does anyone know roughly how much I can expect to pay per session and how many sessions it would take?

I read on the internet EVERYWHERE that panic / anxiety / depression is a very easily treated condition... is it? And if so can it be cured forever so it doesn't just keep popping it's ugly head up [}:)] every time life gets stressful and unpleasant?

Thanks for anyone who replies to this post... your all saints! :)
:)

hello there,

Sorry to hear that you have been feeling so down lately and that you keep feeling like you are back at square one. I am lucky enough to have never had to rely on the NHS but I do know that they can be very slow and unreliable. I am seeing a counsellor privately and she has really helped me. It's not for CBT but I pay £40 an hour - I wouln't have thought that CBT would be that different. I hope it all works out for you!!

Sarah :D

Hi there!!!

I have been suffering with anxiety and depression, on and off for about 10 years now. Like you it comes and goes I can be fine one day, and then within 24hours I can be really quite ill. My last bout lasted 3 months which is rare for me I usually recover after about a month. So I decided to go for CBT and it has really helped me. I had to pay about £40 privately. I continued with it on the NHS when an appointment finally came through (took nearly 6 months!!!!!!) but she was rubbish and just seemed to make me angry so i didn't carry on. The private sessions I had were fantastic, she was actually a occupational therapist and did all sorts of other stuff with me to, like how to relax, how deal with other people etc. I'm not 100% at the moment again, but I think without her help I would be in a real state instead of feeling a bit fed up and a bit anxious sometimes which I can cope with!!!Hopefully in time and with practise I wont even have that anymore. Go for it!!!But make sure you are comfortable with your therapist first before comitting yourself, try a few out first if necessary.

Take care, if you want anymore info let me know!

Mabel (caroline)

Hi there,

Sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. You sound much like I felt about 9 months ago. I have made improvement but its slow and hard and I still get very bad days when I wont leave the house and feel whats the point in going on. (Today being one of those days)

I am one of the lucky ones who has received CBT on the NHS without too much of a wait.

However, if thats not possible where you live, I would say as long as you can afford it to go private.

Its the one and only thing (apart from this site of course!) thats has helped me.

Good luck.

Sue

I'm sorry you are having a major blip at the moment.
Fingers crossed it will soon pass.

What you need is one of these ... The Starwork System

They are available on the NHS.

You can go privately. Mine cost £30 a session.
Personally I liked the starworker system better, it was free! [^]

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

Thank you all for your kind words and guidence! I feeling perfectly fine today and did for the most of yesterday... so it looks like it may have been a 'BLIP'. I read the post on 'Blips' and at first disagreed with the 'what if's' part... but having put it into practise along with taking on board what the rest of the post suggested I feel 10 times better... just goes to prove that mind of matter seems to work. [8D]

P.S. ANYONE ON THE RECOVERY PATH FROM PANIC AND ANXIETY SHOULD READ THE 'BLIPS' POST!!! TWICE A DAY! IT'S BRILLIANT AND ABSOLUTELY SPOT-ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Buggy ..

CBT is now considered the Gold standard of non medication based treatment and essentially teaches you to reach beyond the 'What if' thoughts and re set your thougt patterns.

I'm glad you likes the Blips post and even though you disagreed with some of it, had enough of an open mind to implement it and subsequently derive the benefit .

Many people do not get past panic because they will not accept the condition and that only they can put it right. It is not all in the mind initially but its the minds processes that keep it there.

If you want to do self help CBT a quick read - not skim - is ' What to say when you talk to yourself ' Shad Helmstetter or a long indepth read - esp chapter 3 - is Feeling Good . David Burns

Or do go and see someone -ensure you like them and that are experienced in your issues . Most do 1/2 hour meet sessions FOC.




Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.