I am so confused I think this will kill me

Ever since I have had my anxiety and PA's I have had a high pitched ringing in my ears and pressure in my sinuses even though my nose isn't blocked. Does anyone else get this ...cuz the Doc is trying to tell me I have Meniere's Disease even though the tablets for it aren't working and I have told them I feel lightheaded not off balance - I'm feeling really low at the moment I feel like this will never stop and I don't know what to do. You can't even test for Meniere's - it's a symptomatic diagnosis and it's really scaring me - I still feel like I have no idea whats wrong with me as one Doc is saying I have anx, and another is saying I have Meniere's - I'm confused and I keep googling, (I know I shouldn't but I'm so scared I don't know what else to do.)
I feel like the hosptial knows nothing about what I feel, what if they take too long finding out and I die? I know it sounds extreme but thats how I feel - I had suicidal thoughts the other day - like feelings of 'if I'm going to die anyway then I should end it myself?'
Help me please, I feel like whatever is wrong with me I have done it to myself because I smoked weed nearly every day for 3 years - I hate these feelings and nothing helps. I'm only taking 2mg Diazepam when I get bad panics but for everyday use when I feel weird I have nothing. I feel like no one beleives me. My head feels like it's full of lead and stuff. I feel like I'm losing it. This illness, whatever it is is making me lose it. Not knowing is making me lose it.

i also have the constant ringing in my ears , i had my ears checked and doctor said they were fine , i also have alot of sinus problems and the pain can really get you down , i bought myself a hand held facial steamer and use it everyday , its brilliant and has eased the pressure in my face , which has also helped with the pressure with the ears , hope this helps

Buttercup... I know this is SO much easier said than done, but calm down a bit. Think about it, you're rationally and coherently reading and typing on a forum, clearly you aren't in danger of immediately flying off the deep end of sanity. I know all this anxiety and panic can be very terrifying, but allow yourself to relax a bit. None of these symptoms are going to bring you any immediate danger.

I too, have the sinus pain off and on which I generally attribute to anxiety. At first it really got to me too, then a Doc told me I had post nasal drip and gave me some flonase or something. Pah, that stuff helped a little, but for the most part this is just allergies for me (add the fact that I smoke cigs, not good eh?) and not really something to worry about.

As for the Doctors and their conflicting opinions... hmm, have you considered seeing a Doctor who is more into alternative medicine? They are out there, you may also want to seek out a Doctor who has been trained specifically in how to treat patients with anxiety/panic disorder/etc.

I used to google a lot too, desperately seeking information and so on. The more information I found out though, the more confused I got. Google is a useful tool, but not a good method for finding out about your health troubles. There's too much crap and misinformation and advertisements and promotions out there. Sifting through all of it to find something useful and accurate can be done... but you can spend days (or weeks, or months) just looking for it and it usually isn't worth the time.

My advice is to find a Doctor who has been trained to deal with your specific issues and get an informed opinion.

The high-pitched ringing and pressure in the sinuses (or generally throughout the head) are known symptoms of anxiety. I am not saying anxiety is the only thing that can cause them, but if you are having panic attacks than I would bet money that that's what's causing it.

As for the feeling like you're going to die... I know how terrifying that is. It took me months to get over it. However, rather than thinking in terms of what if or contemplating suicide, have you tried considering how things will be once this passes? Because, I can promise you that it will pass in time. It will take courage and strength to make it through the hard parts, but you'll make it through and with the right attitude and treatment you will find that you begin feeling better.

Fear of losing it, going nuts, losing your marbles and so on is a very common fear with panic attacks. It's hard to understand why the body and mind are in such an intense state of panic and people often search for outside reasons. Surely, it can not be only the mind playing tricks on us? But it can and most likely, is, the mind is very tricky. You aren't going to lose it though, panic attacks don't make people go insane, they can be terrifying and traumatic, but do not cause insanity.

I have had the symptoms you are describing myself and yet I recovered. Surely if I did, so will you. Give it time, be gentle with yourself and remember that this too shall pass. I was into weed myself once and know that it can definitely bring upon anxiety and panic attacks, some times the fear from it is simply mind-boggling. Yet I got away from it, kicked the habbit and haven't touched the stuff for over a year. You'll be alright, it's just going to take some time.

A buddy of mine used to take EX every day, every single day he would take it, one day he OD'd on it and was seconds away from death. Yet, he recovered, he overcame his addiction and is a great person with a lot of strength and will power. So are you, you are managing through this and everything will be fine.

Now that I've practically written a novel here - I would also suggest seeing a therapist as soon as possible. If you are really feeling like you want to hurt yourself or kill yourself, then there are people out there who can help. Being in a hospital can be unpleasant, but it can help you manage for a time until you're ready to face the outside world again. You are the only one who can decide how bad your situation is, if you feel you can keep going, keep going. If you feel you need to get in to a hospital for help, then do that.

Remember, millions of people suffer with these same symptoms, millions have recovered and we all manage to live with this and through it. So can you, so are you and so WILL you. Believe in yourself. You are stronger than your fears.

God bless you, all will be well in time,

Dave

Thanks so much guys, I was having a really bad one yesterday and went a little crazy! Thanks for all the support and for the kind words - sometimes I really don't know what I'd do without this site!!
Love you all

Jo x