Feel so lonely

Hi all

It's been a while since I've been on here, hope everyone is doing well.

The anxiety is alot better and with the help of beta blockers I rarely have a panic attack. But...just one prob, i've been living with my fiance for 3 years having moved from Worcester to Warwick. I love Warwick, I love my job, have good friends at work I just feel so lonely.

I speak to friends from Worcsester (but they are all people i used to work with) on email or through text and we meet up about twice a year for a meal but I don't really have any close friends here. I met up with friends from Worcester in March and got so nervous as there was a large group of us so I felt I was a failure after that with not being able to talk much. I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself but keep beating myself up by thinking i'm a sad person for not having any friends and others will think that of me too. My evenings & weekends consist of spending time with my fiance which i love as we get on so well or my family but i feel ashamed that i don't have many friends. I think the social phobia gets in the way like it always has done and wish I had more confidence to make new friends but it's knowing how to. Friends at work are great but they all have their own friends outside of work and I feel envious of them which i know is wrong.

I had lots of friends when I was young, but as soon as I left school lost contact with them all through one thing and another.

Just don't down know to go about this, any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.


Kerry

'Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire'
- JEAN DE LA FONTAINE

Sounds like you are your own best friend and a lovely person to be around! Continue to start from a foundation of believing in yourself strongly, and don't be nervous to count up the number of pals in your social circle. Your fiance sounds like a wonderful person, and a great friend. Enjoy continuing social contact with your workmates on a casual basis, and enjoy your hobbies.
I know anxiety and shyness can make it tough sometimes to "make friends" but if you look at it from another perspective, does one have to have any certain number of friends to "be" someone? No. It matters not the numbers...You might just be more introspective at this time in your life working on your relationship with your significant other, which is quite, I think, developmentally appropriate as we move phases. Don't pine for friends of your youth...all changes as we grow, and you will grow with those around you in your new place.
Love to you,
Taf

Hi Kerry,
At my work, everyone has their seperate group of friends who they go out with. But one night we decided to have a work night out and since then we've been doing it at least once a month, whether it be going out for a meal/drinks/a show/bingo, you name it. Try to ask around whether people would be interested, you'd probably find that they like the idea of doing something different with different people but need an organised person to start the ball rolling x