Driving (sweaty at the thought)
Ok this might get a long winded so you might want to get a cuppa before you go on. Please hang in there though. I really need some help/advice/support...
OK a liitle background. A little over a year ago I immigrated to the USA from the UK to marry my sweety. I never drove in the UK, never got my license or even had a go at driving a car. Not because I was scared but because it was expensive/didn't need to. I've never been scared to get in a car and I was never worried by the thought of driving.
I've been living in America since last May and until January of this year have not been able to work, drive or even get a library card because I had not been issued my Green Card yet. This January it was finally issued and the first thing I did was take the written test and get my learners permit. So far so good. So hubby takes me out to a empty parking lot for my first lesson. As soon as I got in the drivers seat I found it difficult to breath, got sweaty palms etc. I put this down to usual nerves. So he shows me how to start the car and we start moving and I just lose control... couldn't breathe, thought I was having a heart attack etc etc Have since been to the doctors and now know this was a panic attack.
I have tried to get in the car 3 more times after this and each time have had a panic attack. So we hired a driving instructor who dealt with nervous drivers. When she turned up for the driving lesson I couldn't even leave the house and I had a panic attack about 15 minutes before she arrived and another when she got there.
For those of you that live here and don't live in a large city, you will be familiar with the fact that it is impossible to live and work here and not drive. There are no taxis where I live. No trains, no bus service. The nearest place of business (any business) is over 3 miles from my house.I am basically a hermit right now because of this phobia. Without my drivers license I can't work, go to the shops. This is putting a huge strain on my relationship. I'm even starting to get panicky as a passenger now.
To be honest I feel really awful and guilty about all of this. I used to be full of life, its why my husband fell for me. Now I live here and he has to support this weak, depressed scared person. Its not fair on him and I need to fix this.
Any help advice would be appreciated. I can't go to counselling yet because my health insurance doesn't cover it (under hubby who is military) and I am taking anti depressants but they aren't really helping.
Thanks In Advance.
