severe health anxiety, help..

:)im so grateful for this site, finding it was really a blessing im 20 years old and i've had health anxiety for about a year or two now, well im old enough to realize what it is now, but i do recall having panic attacks at the age of 13.

having health anxiety is the worst thing ever, and what hurts more is that there isnt anyone i know who will be able to relate to what i went through.

about 3 months ago i just went through a phase, serious depression.. everything got me down. i started to imagine al types of things that was wrong with me :scared15: firstly for 3 weeks i was imagining having something wrong with my breast, id tell my family that im dying, id have sleepless nights and i was unable to have peace of mind during the day, i was so certain that it was a lump.. well thats what i made up in my head. i suffered for weeks i even began to plan my own funeral. so i finally whip'd up the courage to actually go see my doctor. she examined me and told me there was nothing not lump at all and she was so certain of it.:ohmy: i atleast got some type of relief out of that and dropped the whole thought that something was wrong with me.:lac: it wasnt easy at all. im a university student and i dropped a semester because i couldnt focus at all. and it affected everyone around me cause all i did was cry.

i got over that eventually:hugs:with the help of family and my boyfriend.

Soon after that i went to the china mall with my boyfriend and they had that model knives there so i opened it and it hurt me, id say scratched me. after that i went into total panic. thinking that i have hiv, what didnt make sense was that there wasnt blood anywhere. and i wasnt even cut open. at that moment i couldnt breathe:ohmy: i felt sick my heart started to beat fast.. i couldnt take it. i begged my family to tell me nothing was wrong. i couldnt rest.i put cleaning agents on the scratch and it didnt burn so i knew it wasnt open but still i didnt want to give up the thought. i had so much fear in me that i couldnt sleep or eat, so then again enough was enough i went to see a doctor, my doctor told me its an abrasion and i do not have hiv its just serious anxiety, she prescribed a psychologist but i refused to go... people would think im insane:scared15: ans i really didnt need that.. eventually i forgot about it.

soon after that i became anxious again... about something else now...i THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT AND THAT MY OVARIES WERE GOING TO EXPLODE:ohmy:, i didnt even know what to do.. because i knew i didnt have intercourse AT ALL.. but i still went nuts and told myself im pregnant and that something is moving in my abdomen:wacko:.. so i began to panic and punch myself in the tummy over and over... eventually because i hurt myself... my muscles started to spasm, which freaked me out more,,, yet again i vistited my doctor.. and she refused to run a pregnancy test because i told her i didnt have intercourse... i waited for aunty flo to confirm that i wasnt pregnant!!!

i noticed that everytime i became depressed :ohmy: i panic'd or made up something else.

a few weeks ago the lady who helps around the house spoke to me and spat in my face!!! i was so scared that i had hiv i cried and panic'd and she told me long before that she doesnt have hiv but i went insane and it made everyone around me so angry because they had told me that it cant be transmitted that way and i refused to listen. in school they taught us well about all of these things but while im in a panic. i refused to retrieve that information...so i finally got courage and went for a proper hiv test at the lab. it came out negative ofcourse. well i knew it would, but the posibility of anything els made me sick t0 my stomach:ohmy:. i didnt believe the test, i went into panic and i took another one and it still came out negative.

everyone thought i was insane:huh: seriously... i went google crazy and googled everything still nothing went into my head

it became so intense that i made my boyfriend take an hiv test 2 times and it all came out negative, the anxiety is driving a wedge between us.. it really is.. he gets so angry with me and so does my family.. so he went to cut his hair on saturday at the barber.. i insisted he take another test and i dont know why i asked him to. i panic'd like crazy. he said to me that his negative and nothing is going to change it!!!:D, but i keep insisting he takes another. he told "WILL U ONLY BE HAPPY IF ITS POSITIVE???' :ohmy:(which it will never b)... since then it struck me that what im doing isnt right seriously.. thats why i need advice on how to get rid of this anxiety its going to cause me to lose my boyfriend and my loved ones..:doh:

just the other day my skin was peeling:lac:i went into panic and thought i had skin cancer which obviously it wasnt..

:huh:i really need help, i dont know who to turn to or who to ask but i need to get over my health anxiety.. it sucks to feel that no1 understands that its actually severe..

please help!!!

thanks.

GODBLESS!!!!:noangel:

Health anxiety is no joke my twin sister had it, shes on fluoxtine which helps and she went to a doctor who helped her talk through her issues this may be an option for you, no amount of words i write will make an amazing difference but find a dr to talk to my sister found it so helpful and talk to your gp about antidepressants blessings

thats so true. some people act as if i exaggerate or something when im in a total panic. as if its such a big joke but no1 knows what goes through my head. thank you for the feedback. il do some research on fluoxtine and il consider going to the doctor to get help. what i fear most is that the tablets like anti-depressants make people go insane or something.. well from what iv heard