I don't know if I want to get better anymore..

I'm a 16 year old girl.
I've been diagnosed with major clinical depression, sever depression, and sever anxiety/stress. <All about a year ago but I've been feeling like this for 3ish years.

Basically I'm starting to feel like what's the point in trying to get better, its taking so long, it's not goin to work, and I just can't remember what it's like to be 'normal'. And I've just Lost all motivation to do anything.
I'd never kill myself on purpose, and I'd never self harm. But I just don't see the point in trying anymore.
I'm honestly over the continuos appointments, medications and talks.
I just don't want to get better anymore.

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your problem.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Hi Kourtney

It sounds like you have really reached your limit and yes it sounds like your close to giving up.

But the feelings you have are like the ones we all get from time to time and it can sometimes feel like we are fighting a losing battle, but when we are at our most weakest and feel like we are ready to give up something gives us the strength to carry on.

Your a very wise young lady and it is very encouraging to hear that you would never harm yourself so in a way in saying that you have proved you still have the inner strength to carry on.

We all get fed up with the appoinments the hospital visits the cbt when whole bloody lot gets us down again at times..
So maybe what you have written could be the start of a turniing point for you by maybe saying that your fed up with it all you have reached a point in your life where you are taking the control back from depression and anxiety.

We all strave to be normal again and we all tell outselves that we will never be the same again, so it makes you wonder what it all means. I myself think it means we will not be or old selves again we will be an improved more understand version of ourselves.

And you will get better your stronger than you think and I myself have looked at life with panic disorders and agoraphobia and I wondered if I would ever get over it and I have so nearly done it but I have had times when I looked at my life and said I have gotten used to it all and maybe I don't want to be better, but I reached a turning point like you have and then everything seemed to click into place.

So don't give up, your strong, your wise and you have made a great start to a recovery by making the post you have. A very honest heart felt post.

Chris

Kourtney, I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful.

I have felt exactly the same at times. I suffered from severe depression for several years from the age of about 14, into my 20s. All I can tell you is that things are a LOT better these days. I am not totally cured, but there is happiness in my life and I am very glad to be alive. I think that if you just give the treatment and all the talking a chance, you will eventually start to see the positives in life and start to recover.

Do be honest with the people you're working with about the way you're feeling. They can't help if they don't know.

Many hugs to you (((Kourtney))) xxx