Scared of Dying and Accomplishing Nothing
I'm 16 years old and think there's something wrong with me, even though there probably isn't.
I'm not particularly afraid of death, I just don't want to ****ing die now! I want at least 30 years on this planet, so I'm able to make a mark. Preferably I would like to live to at least 70, but in 30 years you can still leave an impact. In 16 years you ****ing can't! I want to be remembered as a filmmaker, a writer, or a comedian; I want to follow my calling, not just ****ing drift off the world now without doing so!
It would really piss me off.
Re: Scared of Dying and Accomplishing Nothing
You live in the UK. Average life expectancy is about 77 I think? So you're extremely likely to live to at least 40 or 50, even if you smoke and drink and take drugs and all the rest of it.
There's plenty of time for being remember as any of those things, or all those things, or something you don't even expect you'll end up doing.
I thought the same thing as you when I was your age. It's not really a fear - it's an excitement about life ahead, and a frustration that life doesn't seem to be happening RIGHT NOW. But actually life is happening to you right now too.
I also thought there was something wrong with me - everyone does. Guess what - there is something wrong with everyone, nobody's perfect! That's what makes people interesting :)
Re: Scared of Dying and Accomplishing Nothing
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lior
You live in the UK. Average life expectancy is about 77 I think? So you're extremely likely to live to at least 40 or 50, even if you smoke and drink and take drugs and all the rest of it.
There's plenty of time for being remember as any of those things, or all those things, or something you don't even expect you'll end up doing.
I thought the same thing as you when I was your age. It's not really a fear - it's an excitement about life ahead, and a frustration that life doesn't seem to be happening RIGHT NOW. But actually life is happening to you right now too.
I also thought there was something wrong with me - everyone does. Guess what - there is something wrong with everyone, nobody's perfect! That's what makes people interesting :)
I do smoke, but I plan to quit before 30, and I only smoke 2 or 3 a day. I do drink, which I doubt I'll ever stop. I've done weed and plan to take other psychedelic drugs in the future, but never hard drugs.
I think that excitement about life ahead could actually be on the money. I am tired of doing what I consider to be banal and useless school activities rather than being able to pursue my calling NOW.
Thanks for the message.
Re: Scared of Dying and Accomplishing Nothing
School activities actually turn out to be helpful in ways you never thought they could.
For example, I thought Geography was useless. And knowing about land formations is not going to be useful in every person's job, especially if you don't encounter them much in every day life. But what is useful is the way of thinking. Being able to be analytical and present information for exams, or communicate by drawing, or just being able to string a sentence together well makes a huge impact on your life.
So all those school activities end up honing your skills to create a more skilled you. If you know how to dedicate yourself to work, if you know how to work with others, if you know how to discipline yourself and how you learn - all those things will be directly applicable to any kind of vocation. You'll learn those things from every single school subject.
What are you studying?
