Anxiety about HIV

Hi, my name is ben, and I am from Indonesia.
Sorry about my bad english, but I have a couple question:
1. I already doing an oral sex at July, 3rd 2017, I just doing oral sex with a man, and I am a man, and I dont swallow my saliva when I oral him, and I don't have any open wound in my mouth, and he doesn't cum in my mouth, and then Im doin an anal sex and I use a condom, I didn't know the condom break or not because I anal him not longer than 5minute and I didnt cum, about 5-10 minute since activity I brush my teeth with toothpaste and bleeding, if he is positive HIV, and with scenario like I said, do I get infected? Since I ask him, he is already test in february 2017 and the result is negative but I don't believe him. Or can I contracted via anal but I use condom, but if broke, am I still contract it via Rectum Fluid?
2. If I toothbrushing and I am bleeding, and then I wash my toothbrush with a cup of water (since my all family shared cup like for bath, because in indonesia not everyone take a bath with a shower) and then I rinse it, is there a chance of my family will infected too? I mean, when I rinse it, the cup contacted with tub of water for bathing (If I infected, but idk bcause I must wait for 1 month to get a test) because I always freak out and I must wash cup with soap and I must pouring all out my water on tub, I ask my mom when she toothbrushing, she is bleeding too, I am scare if I am positive I will infected my family..

Please answer my question because I am stressfull..

Today I feel my stomach is not well, and then i feel something wrong with my body, I stop workout, i cant doin my job well, i feel so bad with my family if I contract it to them, sometimes i feel my hands and feets cold, idk if it my anxiety or what, and then i have one rash in my leg, my lips are dry, and its been like for 2weeks, my skin are dry, and between my groin i feel a bit itchy, please help me :(

Every morning when I wake up, i feel why I should facing a problem like this, I always blame myself, I wish i never do that, i cry eveyday, i feel like i wanna quit my job, everyday when i see my mom, dad and my sister i wanna cry bcus i didnt want bad thing happen to them bcus of my fault.

At 4 august i will test for 4 weeks exposured, i am so afraid :(

Thank you very much.
God bless.

Hi Ben first up HIV is a very fragile virus once it leaves the body it quickly dies you would have had to have continued exposure of any bodily fluids to catch HIV :) You are more likely to catch Syphilis or Gonerea from oral still get checked out for STI's and HIV but feel you are over worring mate. As for passing it on to your family 100% not possible in the way you describe so no problems there. HTH Cheers

Thank you for your responds, but i search on google, if i infected, my viral load is really high, i hope i dont get infected :(, and the virus could live on water for a minute, is that true? I am so worry, when my mom or my sister or my dad get flu or rash i was so worried about them :(

You are welcome :) Google is a NO,NO it will drive you crazy and all sorts of irrational thinking will happen so please stop this you are only making your self worse. No the virus cant live in water only in blood and even that once it's left the body it again quickly dies. it has to have a path to infect some one else ie if your mouth was bleeding and the other person was bleeding too and the 2 came in to bodily contact or like in blood transfusion, then there is a risk. Your family is at no risk what so ever mate :) Cheers

Okay thank you again for your answer, but what about point 1? Am I infected?

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Originally Posted by Lilben07

Okay thank you again for your answer, but what about point 1? Am I infected?

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From what you described in your opening post No you aren't infected with HIV as said before he wasn't bleeding and neither was you at the time so no possible route to be infected :) Get tested for STI's though and HIV which is what the clinic will do any way! Cheers

Thank you again about your answer, but what about pre-cum? Idk if leaked or not, sorry about asking often.

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Originally Posted by Lilben07

Thank you again about your answer, but what about pre-cum? Idk if leaked or not, sorry about asking often.

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Nah it's ok to ask. Again you would had to have been bleeding in your mouth for any risk of HIV infection while HIV is a nasty virus it has to have clear route to be passed from one person to another ie he was bleeding and you were bleeding or had open wounds in your mouth many questions, same answer mate it's all good :) Cheers

And suddenly my neck have a rash and it sore, and my scalp are itchy with red bump everywhere :( could it be i infected? Please someone help me :(

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Originally Posted by Lilben07

And suddenly my neck have a rash and it sore, and my scalp are itchy with red bump everywhere :( could it be i infected? Please someone help me :(

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The HIV virus does not blossom up in a couple of weeks and cause symptoms. That's just not the way it works. You're amped up on adrenaline from your anxiety and I'm sure it's causing all sorts of stress related symptoms. What you describe sounds more allergy related tbh.

Seeing where you're currently at in regards to your anxiety, there's not much one can say in this virtual environment that would have an effect in calming you. You've been told the highly unlikely possibility this could happen and I'll jump on that train as well. That being said and my experience in reading thousands of similar posts, it's best you just get yourself a test kit to reassure yourself. Hopefully your anxiety will allow you to believe it. From there, besides the obvious protection measures for sexual encounters, you will also pursue real life professional help for your anxiety.

Positive thoughts