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Eloise, hello beautiful girl.........
........here's a big.....GROOVY....GRANNY......
[:X]((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))[:X]
with lots of love from
GG [:P]
xxx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
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PS: It's a beautiful world..........
...............cus you're in it. :)
xxx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
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I love all your posts, thank you, and I hate to add something negative by my great aunt died this morning... the funeral will probably be next week. I'm trying so hard not to go back to bed.
I've just gotten home from going for a walk with the afore-mentioned boy. We've pretty much sorted things out. I hope.
It's weird. I was so cheery just before I got the news. I had a smile on my face for the first time in days, and I had happy music on. Then after I was told, I just dropped to the floor, sobbing.
Take a deep breath and try to move on, right? I'm managing a small smile at what you've all said. Keith, I love your idea of looking for the little things. And thanks groovygranny for the hug! I need one! And Bel thanks for your support :)
Better go have dinner before I forget to eat...
xo love you all
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Hi sorry to hear your news, but you should look at all the things you did together, the laughs you had with your aunt. It will also help you to be poitive when you remember her and help you get through the funeral
Keith
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(((((((((((((((GROOVY HUG)))))))))))))
Just in case the other one has run out............there are plenty more!
You'll be ok love, hold on..
lotsa luv
GG [:P]
xx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
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Thanks groovygranny!
I had a long walk late last night with *that boy*. And now I've decided I so don't want this anymore. I'm sick of being the special case, "the depressed chick" as I'm known. I want to be happy, I want to be able to go out with... him... and not have that nagging voice in the back of my head ruining it all.
I must admit, I was scared of being well again. I didn't like the idea of feeling vulnerable. At least at my saddest nothing else could go wrong. I really believed that until my aunt died and I sank to a level lower than hell, which I didn't expect.
So it's over, bye bye depression. I want to be happy. I want the ups and downs, not just the overwhleming lows.
So, any suggestions on how I can be "cured" would be great! :D I guess I'm going to have to go back to therapy, huh!?I'm going to try what Keith suggested, taking note of all the little, seemingly inconsequential happy things. :) Anything else??
I WILL get better!
xo
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Thanks for those sites, Nigel, I'll check 'em out in a bit. :)
I thought I'd post something. Like I said I would, I did as Keith suggested, keep going on about it! So I'm going to post what I wrote. The good little things. Just because I feel like I have someone to tell! This is typed up straight from my diary. I'm a very open person so, obviously, this is quite personal. It's just who I am. These are all the good little things that happened to me today! Enjoy!
1. Had several terrifically erotic dreams last night! Erotic dreams are always a good thing! (*male-friend* and I went to a club - cross between a brothel, japanese nightclub and the end scenes from Terminator 1, lots of chicken wire and steel cages).
2. I've stuck to my diet bloody well today, all week actually.
3. I'd probably more-than-likely feel skinny if I was bloated to due my period.
4. I've having semi-periods again! So my downstairs wasn't ravaged by the contraceptive injection!
5. Read a few more chapters of Angels and Demons, if you can call them chapters...
6. I have good hair today, which reminds me, I need to brush it again.
7. I've accepted the fact that my TV is awful and have decided I don't really want one anyway, prefer books and the internet! Saves me paying TV licence too.
8. I like bran flakes, so long as there's a little diet sugar to go with it.
9. Parents are getting along better.
10. Parents are getting along better with me.
11. Parents and me ate tea at the dining table together. Well, kind-of. Different meals, different times, but we were all there. (I had chicken, mum haddock and mash, dad toast pork!)
12. *male-friend* went out with friends that aren't me. Good thing as it means he's happy again and feeling social.
13. My favourite girl-boxers are clean and dry on the radiator.
14. Went for a walk and bought a new movie that I've wanted to see for a while (Amelie).
15. Started process of getting old laptop fixed! Might have it working soon!
16. Was cheery. Listened to bad ska. Actually remembered the words.
17. Had an alright semi-conversation with dad.
18. Back ache from yesterday has gone.
19. Technically today as it was early morning - had a wonderful midnight walk with *male-friend* to cheer him. He was feeling low :( but not anymore ^_^ Feel so much closer to him now. Love having a best friend again. Love his smile. Love his selfless wanting of me to be happy and get better. Just generally adore him to pieces.
20. Getting tough now! - Paint on toenails isn't as chipped as I thought it would be!
Ta-DA!! :)
Night, dears
xo
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Oh LuckedShut!!!
You are doing great, you have definitaley got the right attitude girl!
Im sorry to hear about your great aunt. I can relate to you as I have lost my only brother to suicide 2 years ago. A tiny wisdom I'd like to pass on whenever you feel negative about her death. Just keep beating that negative nagging by repeating it in your head until it sticks that instead of being sad for the fact she is gone BE GRATEFUL for the fact that you had her in your life for so long!!!! I believe its a chinese proverb I read somewhere on the net at the time when my brother passed and it does make me feel tons better when I think about it that way!
Also I have often the same negative snowballing thoughts as you and one thing that helps me is when I write them down and just think about it for a second, is it really true ;)
Keep at getting better, you'll get there girl!
xxxx
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Eloise you luvly, luvly girl!! :)
So happy for you,
....and thank you for sharing your thoughts, your ups and downs and your diary with us.....it just goes to show that when we have down times we are not alone here, and when we have successes (like you!) we can all enjoy them!
Take care
lotsa luv
GG [:P]
xx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
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"20. Getting tough now! - Paint on toenails isn't as chipped as I thought it would be!"
Damn, mine is!!
I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!
James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849