Social anxiety rather than agoraphobia?

I've become very agoraphobic at the moment, it comes when my bouts of anxiety and depression get worse.

But I've been wondering, that it's not so much being outside that makes me uncomfortable it's the thought of interacting with the people that are there. I much prefer being out at night, there's less people and it's dark so the ones that are there can't see you as much.

I was recently refered to a condition management program, something that was meant to help me deal with my anxiety, so that I could maybe get back into work before I restart uni and so that I can deal with that better too.

But I only lasted an hour. It was the worst possible environment for me. There were 12 of us in this small, bright room and we were expected to work in groups and pairs and get to know each other. I would have trouble with something like this even when my mood is in it's up phase. I could have possibly got through it had I not been expecting to talk to anyone or anyone talk to me, though I would still have been uncomfortable at the thought of how visible I was and how physicly close some of the people were. But interaction, for me right now that's like pushing a nonswimmer who's also afraid of heights off a 100ft diving board into the sea.

I agree that it's a bit of a big step to take, feeling like you do. But you have to bear in mind - although it's very difficult, I accept - that the others there are in the same boat as you. They'll also be feeling like you - although we always get the impression that we're worse than others. Sometimes this "exposure"-type therapy can work. For others the pressure is too much and they need a gentler approach. Unfortunately, these experiences can sometimes batter your confidence further and you shouldn't allow this to happen. Everyone deals with the same things but in different ways.

I would look into perhaps doing some voluntary work. You can work at your own pace and you'll slowly begin to interact with people again, which can help prepare you for paid work.

All this boils down to confidence. Many outwardly confident people are insecure inwardly, but we don't ever notice. It's the facade that we see. So don't be hard on yourself - confidence is something that you have to nurture for it to grow - it doesn't happen overnight. Paul McKenna has some excellent CDs and books re confidence-building, and I would highly recommend getting them.

I just wanted to second what Melancholia said about Paul McKenna.

He is excellent and he does some excellent books and audio CDs. I have 'Instant Confidence' and although I've not had a proper in depth read, it does appear very helpful.

I don't want to take focus away from your anxiety, but much of it really does come down to confidence too.

Best of luck, Dan

Oh and you can buy Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna for about £10. My good friend (Who I met on here!!) bought me it :)

I know where you are coming from here ! I go through some bad bouts wer i dont want to go out ,and avoid people and doing normal every day things , Ive kinda bein goin through it this past few days quite bad , but i got up this morning and got out the door and went about talking to friends and going into shops etc . I feel a lot better for doing it , gotta show it whos boss ! i know its so hard ! you cant let it keep you down , whatever you do may be realy uncomfartable for a bit but it will pass ...:)

Hello

I've been where you are and in some ways still am. I couldn't do voluntary work as that was far to difficult for me. If you're like me then it's not just about being shy and 'getting out there'. If it's social phobia then it's awful!! I got to a point where I couldn't look up in the street, avoided all contact with strangers and my worst moment was when I avoided my Mum in the street because I panicked about how long I would have to talk to her for. I went to my gp and he sent me for CBT. At the same time I started very gently challenging myself. I started things like talking to staff in shops or saying something to someone standing next to me at the bus stop. I made myself look around me rather than the floor and started talking to my friend on Skype that I met on NMP. I've pushed myself in these little ways for 2 years now and am much better. I'm still completely panicky in meetings and don't do them! but for the first time in about 15 years I went to a party on Friday. I still hate using the phone but push myself to make calls that I'm not comfortable with. I just constantly push myself. I can't do a lot of things but at least I can walk down a road comfortably now and not be totally scared that someone might talk to me and I can have a simple meal in a cafe. Talking to people is still sometimes difficult but last year I joined a pottery class. I was terrified but the class was so much fun that it really helped me. I went and saw the tutor before I booked the class to make sure I wouldn't have to talk in front of the group or wouldn't be the focus of their attention at any time. To anyone without social phobia this might seem extreme but it got me there!
You need to request CBT from your GP. It doesn't matter how long the waiting list is just do it! It helped me so much, but you have to be prepared to do homework and really question your actions. Quite a lot of GP surgeries have councellors that are trained in CBT so the waiting list might not be that long.
Bunty xx

over the last 6 years my ability to go places with people (or where people are)have been very difficult.speaking to people,them speaking to me even knowing they are coming near me or past me sends me into a panic attack.two weeks ago i started hypnotherapy and am feeling a bit better.Today I managed to go into a shop and reply to the shop assistant when she spoke to me without getting a panic attack.I also managed to talk to someone I work with comfortably for the first time in years.I have tried everything else and am feeling hopeful about this working for me.I have even planned to get a tattoo if this works for me when I am finally free and at peace.

yea i ve become agoraphobic but just because of social anxiety, agoraphobia on its own is not a big problem.
I know exactly what you mean about night time! Try Sunday or Monday late night...hardly anyone around if your in a small town! At 3-6am? No anxiety at all...lol

I dont know if this is relevant, but there is a condition called pyroluria, that can make people reclusive. You sound young and I think this sets in when one is older. It just becomes too stressful to interact with people.