Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi raindog.
You are describing pretty much what a lot of us cit takers go through,The first week or so can be pretty horrendous for some.It takes you down to hell then you slowley surface. Always remember to eat something when taking your citalopram as you an get the sicky feelings too and that seems to help. you might lose weight . you might put it on. but those can be ignored as you should just concentrate on getting better- one day at a time. Read Psyhco Poets citalopram guide to survival. It has EVERYTHING you need to know about it ( cit). Welcome to NMP .keep posting and you will find a lot of support on here as I have.
NB. Try cutting your caffeine intake right down, do it gradually or you will get withdrawal from that!!In doing this it helps reduce anxiety.
Take care keep strong-and take it one day at a time.:)
Jean
Re: First week of Citalopram
Thanks Jean,
I learned the lesson about taking my meds on an empty stomach, did that during last week and felt queasy when trying to eat a little while later, I have a bowl of porridge on a morning and take my meds just before I eat that now.
Yesterday (Monday) went ok, had a good afternoon out in the park recording stuff with the other guy volunteering. We wandered back over to his house and sat in the back garden enjoying the sun and the cool breeze. He and his girlfriend shared a few spliffs with me and I felt very relaxed and we all had a good chat about the world in general. I wasn't sure if I should have the joints but figured it was the first I'd had in about 18 months and hoped it wouldn't have too much of an adverse effect with my meds.
I feel a little down this morning, the depression has risen a little, but the anxiety isn't that strong so I can deal with it today. I just have this feeling of being lost in the world and not having any direction, which I think a lot of us feel these days, which is why there are so many people with depression. I don't have any family and only a few friends so not much of a support mechanism to help me get through all this and nobody to really fall back on when it all comes crumbling down around me so I'm just trying to get through each day. Not easy but I think I can make it somehow, it's just finding a reason to keep pushing on, that's what's taking time, finding motivation and a direction to head in.
I lost my job of 3 years end of last year and now I have to pull myself together to go through the process of finding another one but my anxiety has dragged me down and I've been just wrapped in it each day. Emails would come in about jobs and I'd feel that little panic rise up inside, everything felt like it would be so difficult to do due to my concentration being all over the place.
I'm into my 40's now and I feel that I've wasted a lot of time and potential and I've spent most of my life wandering from job to job, possibly due to problems related to my depression. Some days I wish I could be one of those happy drones that fits in, I've never felt like I fit in, or very few times at least. Does anyone else get that feeling?
Re: First week of Citalopram
HI RAINDOG.
Every day I wish that I could just go to work and act normal like everyone else seems to. Keep posting on here to get support. Its helped me a hell of a lot . Be careful with the smoking tho as it could or will increase your anxiety levels. I went into my local charity shop this morning, they always ask how I am as I used to work there. By the time the coversation had finished I found I was going to be working on an afternoon on the till!!. So, what I intend doing is teling my doctor I need a few moe weeks so I can start interacting with the public again. Its never too late to start anything. You are wondering in and out of jobs. What I think is you should get your anxiety under control first, when you feel a bit mor comfortable with that look at volunteering , it gets you out and you are mixing with people and you retain your dignity.The most important part of this voyage is one step at a time . Its very early days for you , you might feel different every day, you will see postings on here about little habits we have started. whats this pain or this ache,why is this happening and its all generally down to te side effects of cit and or the anxiety.So keep coming on here and you will get the answers!!
Take care:noangel: Jean
Re: First week of Citalopram
I'm already volunteering at a local community radio station, I've been through and analysed my situation well before I got the anti d's and realised I needed to get out more, get more exercise, eat better (not easy when on benefits). I've started cutting down on the cigs, don't really drink much anyway so that's an easy one to avoid. Generally I've been heading in the right direction, which several people have told me, but when the anxiety hit it all felt like it was useless because I still felt crappy.
I'm feeling more positive after a crappy week, I just want to keep heading in this direction, even if it's just a bit each day for now, at least I'm not feeling so desperate and so wrapped up in my own need to break out of the feelings, which at least means I can concentrate on things a bit better and can start working on climbing out of this pit.
I've dealt with depression for over 12 years and I get a bout every so often so I'm able to handle that, but that anxiety caught me on the hop this time. Now I can sit down, relax a bit more and concentrate I might try a bit of writing to get things out of my head and give me some sort of focus over the next few weeks. I've heard of people heading down completely new roads in their life even when they thought they were too old so maybe I'll find I've got a bit of talent for the literary thing and get some enjoyment out of it.
Re: First week of Citalopram
Today is day 10 and I've had a couple of days of feeling much less anxious, it's still bubbling gently away in the back of my mind but I can handle the mild sense of nervous anticipation. I've had a few good nights sleep and last night was the best, I settled down to sleep not long after midnight last night and it took me a while to get comfortable but I drifted off before 1am I think and didn't know anything until 6am this morning when I started to wake up.
The best bit about not having that wave of anxiety wash over me when I wake up is being able to lay back and doze for a while, not feel like I have to be doing something right now to satisfy the nervous little demon running around inside.
I actually started doing a bit of writing last night, just a short story that bubbled up in my head while I was out for an early evening walk, so it's a good sign that my concentration is returning to a more stable level and I can sit down and do things without too much effort again.
So in all I feel like I've taken the first step to getting back to some sense of normality, it's easier this week and I hope this continues and I hope that those going through what I went through the past couple of weeks, the desperate feelings of being trapped and needing some help and reassurance, can tough it out and reach a point where you can see past those feelings.
Keep going folks, take heart.
Re: First week of Citalopram
Thursday and day 11. Another fairly level day out of the way yesterday. I'm feeling a little pressured as I've was asked by the people at the community radio station where I'm doing some volunteer work to help with the content for their bank holiday Beatles show and that has to be ready for Monday.
It's not a big deal since it only has to be roughly 15 minutes of information about the 'extra' members of the band and I can just gather most of that from the web along with playing a few related songs. Last week I was ready to tell them I was in no fit state to take part in this but thought I would wait to see how I felt this week and since I'm nowhere near as anxious as I was I think I can make it.
I think I gave a couple of other members on the site a bit of encouragement yesterday so hope things work out for them. The one downside to this morning is that I thought my IBS type symptoms were easing, but they came back again this morning. This is probably a result of the little bit of pressure I'm feeling from yesterday. I've had these symptoms for the past month or two since my anxiety started to build so I'm fairly sure it's related to that, so hopefully as my anxiety reduces so will these unpleasant symptoms. They have faded a bit for a couple of days over the past week or so only to return so I'm hoping that they'll eventually go once the meds start getting to work properly on my underlying anxiety.
For a while I was worried that my little bit of morning exercise was causing the symptoms. I became a complete shut in over winter and put on a fair bit of weight so bought one of those abdominal rollers to help me trim the tum. I've been doing a few sets of crunches using that each morning before I get ready for the day and it's helping to trim me down again so I can fit in my old clothes.
It did make me wonder if perhaps I'd damaged myself while doing those exercises when the IBS symptoms started, but I've had no real pain, nothing that would suggest I've twisted something or caused some injury inside, so I reckon it can only be the anxiety and Mr Chatterbox is making me think my exercise is to blame to pass the buck and make me feel bad about trying to get back into shape again. I would imagine there are others out there who have had similar experiences.
Still feeling a bit nervous about the getting back to work deal, but it's not a panicky thing like previous weeks and talking to the folks on the site makes me feel a bit less alone when I get home, so thanks to those who've passed the time with me and hope everyone starts feeling well soon :)
Re: First week of Citalopram
Hi Raindog, this too is my first week of taking 'Cit', my third day actualy. I feel like crap on a stick today, so low I can barely focus. I feel like a lead weight is pulling me down and I cant get up, not sure if this is normal or not. I have things I need to get done today but can't motivate myself to do them. I am 52 and allthough had problems years ago when I was younger, I thought those days were behind me but they've raised their ugly head gain. Mine is work related through working too many long hours and spending most nights away from home so it gives you time to ponder, which isn't a good thing.. I'll keep an eye on your posts to see how things improve for you. Hopefully things will for me too.
Re: First week of Citalopram
Start a thread yourself, it can help get your thoughts out a bit and can act like a form of self counselling, it's helping me to post my ramblings :D
I think a few of us here have gone through that loss of motivation, I've felt like I've lost all my direction in life over the past month, so I felt pretty lost all round really, like I was just going through the motions, looking for something to keep me going. My job history hasn't been great, moving from job to job, possibly because of underlying problems with my moods and attention drifting here and there.
I haven't had a bout of depression for 3 years while I was kept busy working but since I lost my job at the end of last year it's crept up on me again. It can hit you when you least expect it, anything can be a trigger. Have you tried any counselling yet? I think we all reach a point where we've struggled on alone long enough and it's time to face the problems we're having and try to deal with them once and for all.
This first week you're going through probably isn't going to be easy, but hold on and keep going. Like I said in your introductory post, you can use the forums here to vent, get encouragement and learn about what you're experiencing, and read PsychoPoet's Citralopam Survival Guide that is stickied at the top of this part of the forum, well worth a read and has helped me and quite a few others get their heads around some of what you may go through in the next week or so.
I'm sure you'll level out, it's just a matter of getting through the first week or so, it's different for everyone, but stay in contact and let us know what's going on when you can.
Re: First week of Citalopram
Spent the first couple of hours of this evening at the radio station helping the team do the show comprised of Beatle's cover tracks, followed by a couple of hours sat with some of the guys at a local pub, though no beer for me on these meds.
Just thought I'd share this rather cracking vid with those of you looking for something entertaining, it's a mash up of the Beatles 'Get Back', LCD Soundsystem and The Kinks. Well worth a watch and one of the best Beatles remixes I've heard yet. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPtWh5XjiH0