Wanting my intrusive thoughts to happen?

I’ve been having disturbing thoughts and urges about harming my parents. However, sometimes I feel like I want these thoughts to happen. I really don’t want to harm my parents at all, so this is really scary.

One of the reasons could be that I want a “unique” life. I could have a different life, and I could be famous. In fact, this is one of the first thoughts that came up to mind when I first had the intrusive thought. However, I would much rather live a happy life with my parents rather than have a “unique” life.

Sometimes, when I’m mad at my parents, or when my parents annoy me, or when I just watched a movie/tv show and the characters there make my family look lame (this has to have happened to someone, right?), I feel like I enjoy these thoughts, which I don’t.

I have always been fascinated with completely evil people. I don’t want to become like them, but the fear they recieve almost makes them feel “cool” to me. I’m still disgusted by them, of course. Well, when I’m worrying sometimes, I feel like I want to harm them because its “cool.” Its definately not, but just all this makes me feel scared.

Could this all just be classic OCD tricking me? Can OCD trick me like this? Or am I really dangerous?
Does anyone have any advice/comforting thoughts/similaf experiences?

Yes, OCD does this all the time (It truly is awful, isn't it?)

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Originally Posted by liampaynelover

Yes, OCD does this all the time (It truly is awful, isn't it?)

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I hate when OCD creates false feelings and false attraction. Especially when the feelings and attractions feel really realistic. I don’t even know what I like and what OCD is tricking me into liking anymore.

Why would you have to feel "right" or have the right thoughts in a situation you're in? You can have any thought or feeling and still act normally. When you do this, you won't get tangled in your thoughts anymore. There's a real world outside of our minds!

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Originally Posted by ShinTzuLover

I hate when OCD creates false feelings and false attraction. Especially when the feelings and attractions feel really realistic. I don’t even know what I like and what OCD is tricking me into liking anymore.

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Same with me. I hate when OCD makes me feel straight or bi. At first I thought it was just sexual confusion. Until I started getting intrusive thoughts about being attracted to family. That’s when I discovered how HOCD can apply to me. When I discovered I have HOCD that’s when I admitted to myself I have OCD. I already knew I was extremely obsessive and anxious. I’ve also been called OCD for my whole life.

This is very common in OCD. You may get a random intrusive thought and feel like you didn't react to it properly. You feel like you should be disgusted by the thought, but you felt rather neutral. Then you start over-analyzing the situation and try to think about that thought over and over again, until you finally get the "disgusted" feeling, but then it feels forced. Why does it feels forced? Maybe because you actually want the thing to happen??

This is a really vicious cycle. By the way, people without any mental issues can get intrusive thoughts as well, but they might not even notice them, they feel intuitively that this thought is abnormal, but not dangerous, so they dismiss it immediately. OCD needs to obsess over something, so it starts obsessing over this.

Another situation is when your obsession drains you so much that you just want it to be over, and you may start wishing the thing would finally happen, just so you can finally get some peace. This doesn't mean anything either. Remember, your OCD thoughts are not you. You are not your OCD. Just because you have a thought, it doesn't mean that you will act out on it.

Whenever you get such a thought, you should immediately label it as an intrusive thought. Imagine putting a post-it note that says "intrusive thought" on your thought. Do more research about OCD and the way it works, and it will become easier to overcome your worries. :)