Cured vs. Healed

As I recover from cancer treatment, it's become quite evident that I've not been cured of my illness.

When we speak of a disease, we often tend to think of it in absolute terms. Curable and incurable. This is due mostly to the way we think of medicine and the way modern society thinks of it. It doesn't take into consideration the in-between or gray areas in which most of life unfolds.

The words “healing” and “curing” are often used interchangeably and thought to be the same, but their definitions couldn't be more different. Curing is a restoration of health, an absence of symptoms, and a remedy of disease. Healing, on the other hand, is a restoration of wholeness — not the level of wholeness before the diagnosis, but a restoration of wholeness that is new, different, and can be better or sometimes worse than before the onset of disease. Healing doesn't remove all the symptoms, but it's an integrative process that transcends the physical and includes mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I didn't hear the word "cure". I heard "treatable" and it scared the bejeebers out of me. When I met with my team at Johns Hopkins, they assured me they could eradicate the cancer but never did they use the word "cure". I asked my MO about it and she said this: "You will never be cured, you will always be a 'survivor'. We will kill the cancer and we'll heal you but it will always be a part of who you are from now on". Those words couldn't be more true! From the moment of diagnosis, your life changes and will never be the same.

So I'm healed. More accurately I'm healing. I have a way to go before I reach what will be considered my "new normal". The person I was before diagnosis is vastly different to the person I have become. I've been forced to look within and change the way I live my life. I have to eat differently and compensate my day to day life due to side effects from treatment. Hopefully, the person I am now will pale in comparison to the person I will become as personal development and healing has no real end. Healing is an uncomfortable and lengthy process because it requires changes to a multitude of areas, including what you eat, drink, say, think, and do. It will require seeking help from professionals as you break old, unhealthy patterns and create new and healthier ones.

It's the same with anxiety. You can be healed but in reality, you will never be "cured". Reading Tanner's post this morning brought that reality into the light. Many here are and have quelled the beast that is anxiety but there will always be the possibility of a blip. It's in the healing process that they've gained the strength to quell the beast when it rears it's head and prevent it from hurting them.

So don't set your expectations for a "cure". Seek "healing". Know that "healing" takes a lot of work and it's a process and a means to an end as opposed to an end in itself.

As I'm taking the steps to heal from my illness, take the steps to heal from yours :) I look forward to hearing of your successes and victories.

Positive thoughts!

Absolutely fantastic, fishmanpa. I love reading posts like this, very insightful. Thank you for sharing, God bless you.

This is a great point Fishmanpa, and one that Claire Weekes mentions in her book Self Help For The Nerves. She said that she still gets feelings of anxiety or the flash of panic sometimes, but the difference now is that she doesn't allow it to take hold and grow out of control. She simply understands what's happening and cuts it off before it goes anywhere.

It's the best approach, because naturally life will bring us anxiety and stress and we need to learn that these are normal emotions and ones that we can control rather than allowing them to take control of us.

Another great post from fishmanpa who has the most positive approach to things I have ever known. I am in awe of this man who deals with the thing that most of us worry about constantly.

It's all a bit scary - "cure", "heal", "treat" - you don't mention the "remission" word, which always reminds me of those tag-team wrestling matches where one wrestler is on the mat, but his partner is circling around, ready to take up the fight.

Anyway, more power to you.

Once again a fab post Fishmanpa.

I am sitting here in Rome Airport, sipping a cappuccino and looking forward to getting home to see my kids even though I have had a fab time in Rome over the past few days. I think you hit on something phenomenally important.

When you spend any time on this forum you get to see that people who suffer from HA share some personality traits. Many are perfectionist, almost all struggle with uncertainty, most are inpatient, and again most have a very black and white approach to feeling better whereby things are either terrible or perfect. The harsh reality is that no one has a perfect situation, but that life can be wonderful inspite of its imperfections.

I think I may have posted before that recovery from anxiety is not an absolute, it is a progression and it is why I think the celebration of small victories and a generally positive direction of travel are so important. When I appreciated this genuinely was when I think I started to make some break throughs.

At that point I was able to forgive myself regressions, but also able to reassure myself that a path to improvement is possible and not too far away.

I don't think I have had time to post about this in detail yet, but I had my final CBT session last week (aside from a couple of follow ups I have planned as I know I am slow to ask for help). I had always wondered how I would know when I had done enough CBT. I walked into her office and she as usual asked me how I was, and for the first time in six months I was able to say that for the most part I was ok. That told me almost instantly that I had done enough reflection through CBT to understand the mechanisms of anxiety and to develop plans to counteract them.

When I started CBT I imagined that when I had finished it, I would be perfect again (whatever that was). Now I accept that CBT was the kick, and the rest is down to me with the knowledge that I can go back if needed.

So I suppose what I am saying is that from experience I full endorse your description of healing.

Cured versus healed is such an excellent viewpoint on it, Fishmanpa. I am in the process of healing, and I don't know exactly what that finished product will look like. As Chris states, it is when I let my impatience get the best of me that I feel like there is no progress. I think that is why the blips worry everyone so much, as we are all afraid of taking a step backwards. Healing is not a linear progression; there will be steps forward and backwards and if we can accept that, the steps backwards will be minimized.

You've inspired me and motivated me this morning. Thanks for that!

here.hear. brilliant

Wow- this is so good that I am bumping it.
Thanks, FMP!