I think my son is stealing from me

Hello All.

I'm trying really hard here not to jump to assumptions and accusations but I really don't know what to do. Tonight (Monday) I went to bed very early and was asleep by 9pm, which really is a miracle for me. I left my eldest son downstairs and told him to be in bed by 9.30pm. I know I shouldn't really do this but I was exhausted and if I don't go to my room I get very agitated and moody. Anyway my youngest sons tooth came out at school and he has put it under his pillow, he is 6 and still believes in the tooth fairy. After I put him to bed I raided my penny jar to try and get some for him for his tooth. I managed to salvage 50p. Two 10p, some 5p and 5p in copper. It's all I had to my name.
I put it in the back pocket of my trousers and went up to my room, with every intention of putting it under his pillow.
Anyway I fell asleep as I said but I have just woke up at 3.30am and remembered. I went to get the change but it had gone, all of it but the copper. I have searched everywhere around where my trousers were and it's not there...I even checked my sons pillow in case I had forgotton that I had already done it but I hadn't. I know for a fact that I left the change in my trousers, and how odd that just the copper is left.
I'm really hoping that I am wrong, I don't want to have to face this if it's true, it would simply break my heart. When my youngest wakes up he is going to be gutted because his tooth will still be there and no pennies and I don't know how I will explain it to him...or weather to confront my other son. Basically I am accusing him of coming into my room when I have been asleep and going through my pockets with the intention of stealing money.
The other reason why I am thinking this is because he appeared the other with a brand new webcam, he had bought it from Morrisons for £6. I asked him where he got his money from and he said it was his own...but where from? I didn't want to take the conversation any further because I was affraid of a massive row or hearing something I didn't want to hear. I don't feel strong enough for that. In fact I don't feel strong enough to deal with this at all. Please advice and help me out...I just can't go back to sleep now my mind is a whirlwind of worry, and what I am going to say to my little un when he wakes to find the tooth fairy hasn't been.
Thanks for listening to me everyone.

Kez xx

Hi,
This is a tricky situation and difficult to handle. My son stole money from my mums when he was about twelve. Not lots just a pound, my dad was an insurance collector and always had lots of pound coins in his pocket and I suppose my son thought it easy and unnoticable if he took one of about fifty pounds and nobody would notice. He got caught by my mum and his pocket money was stopped for three weeks (£3.00). I never found out about this for months and wanted to punish him but my mum said she dealt with it and in a way Im glad she did as I found it very upsetting and embarrassing, I never dreampt my child would do such a thing when we always gave what we could.
Like you said you dont want to accuse and then you look at things like the web cam and think the worse. I dont really know I can advise you on this, it is difficult without you actually catching your son take it to say anything. But you could let him know you know. You could say something like 'Im sure I put money in my pocket, have you seen it?' Its not acusing but at least he will know you know...if that makes any sense. Has money ever gone missing before? If he took it it could be a one off and knowing you know might stop him doing it again. It is horrible thinking that your child is taking something without asking but thats how they learn by mistakes, hard lessons but it makes them a better person in the end to learn they have done wrong, not do it again and move on.
Im sorry Im not much help, good luck and try not to worry, I think most of us have been in this situation before.
Take care,

I agree with Carol on this. Let him know you have noticed that your money is missing.

Veronicax

hey shoto!
I don't know how old your son is. I am now 23. I kept steeling money from my parents between the ages of 14-15 :D. It wasn't a lot of money, just the amount I needed to get cigarettes. They always used to give me whatever amount I wanted (if they had it ofcourse), just that they needed to know what it was for. And, ofcourse, I couldn't go up to my mom at 14 and say hey mom, me and my mates started smoking... please give me some money :). I'm not saying your son is smoking or doing smth bad, what I really wanted to tell you is that it never felt like I was STEALING. I was pretty mature for that age, but taking some coins from my mom did not seem that bad at all. So, imo, if your presumption happen to be true, you shouldn't be so upset... Kids have weird ways of looking at situations (everything is pink, fine and dandy, puppies never die etc.).

Thank you for the replies. Cant say much now cos i am so tired but will report back soon. Thanks so much guys xxx