anxiety rough patch

Going through a rough patch the past few weeks ... feeling like I cannot control my emotions even though I logically can.. I have two parts - logical part and irrational part that battle it out in my head and the irrational part always seems to win and I blow up and snap at my fiance and then the logical part kicks in and makes me feel awful about it.

Another therapy appointment tonight to tackle this ... it's so hard I feel like the therapy is bringing my emotions to the forefront and maybe in the long run that is more helpful but in the short-term it is making me feel awful and out of control.

We had a death in the family over the weekend ... the first funeral I have been to since my mom's a year and a half ago ... maybe that is making things worse. But I've been on edge for more than two weeks now. Was feeling good before that ... trying to get back to the good place for my relationships sake.

When we fall into the pit of anxiety we do really put our loved ones through the mill, it must be very tuff on them.

The last time my anxiety was really bad I wrote my loved one letters at night when I couldnt sleep to tell her how loved she was and that I would be over this anxiety soon.

Hang in there!

Thanks for the support. I appreciate my partner so much because he is patient and understanding ... I just worry that one day he won't want to put up with this BS from me anymore. Though he says if that was the case he wouldn't have asked me to marry him ...

Had a rough time at the therapist's last night. I thought my PTSD was not as severe anymore but I guess it is and I just have been avoiding dealing with a trauma that happened to me about a year ago this month. A lot came out ... I know it is for the best but it is so exhausting.

The PTSD forum is gone for good?