Tears of rage.....tears or rage??

I have increasingly become aware of how I float between tearful resignation or blinding rage at where I am at.

I was medically retired from a 27-year career through GAD, depression and stress. I thought that I would change as a result without that pressure but hey…still the same!!

Some days I get so down I just want to cry. I want to end the pain and hurt I am causing to others and myself. On really dark days I feel I really want to end it all.

Other days I get very angry about it all. I start to push those who care away, if they don’t like me then what does it matter if I’m not around. I wont be missed.

I fully understand both those dark, dark places and how scary they were for me. Hopefully I have moved on positively. However it got me round to thinking…………………

It is easier to care for someone who cries, how do we care for someone who doesn’t??

Iain


What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Edited

hi iain
you,re definatley not alone hunney i can really relate to everything you wrote.
take care
wishing you well
rach x

Thanks Sue and Rachel, your thoughts were most welcome.

The real reason for the post is to try to find an answer to the question posed. My personal thoughts are by still being there and talking to offer support by trying to depersonalise the hurtful stuff that is thrown out.

Any other ideas?

Iain

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

But you would be missed and all those that you will touch their lives would not have that special touch that might change their lives.I know the feeling well.I experienced it alot ...still experiencing the anxiety but the depression seems to be moving on.I am a katrina suvivor and well that was very tramatic..If I can get through that with this and keep making progress I know that you can too.We are all here for you and will be.. Michael

PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING

May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

Sending you big ((((((HUGS))))))) Lickey

luv kaz x x x

Iain, I know exactly what you mean. I cry when I am down and when I am angry! Please PM me if you need to talk.
TC xxxxx

hi,
i get like that alot. i have days when i can sit and cry for no particular reason, then i have days when i just feel so angry (more with myself) and just feel as tho i am shouting at everyone close to me.
i have to stop and take stock of myself to try and get the anger to pass...

penny