Fear of being abused

I have this fear of my boyfriend abusing me and me just being in denial of it. Like sometimes he says and does things without thinking but it's never with the intent of power or control, or even to hurt someone, he usually doesn't even have a certain intent?? Like now if i say "it's not him, it's just my OCD" it makes me sound like a victim in denial of the abuse happening! Like we play fight and stuff but if he actually ends up hurting me he feels so bad about it. Or he's usually messing around or joking around and he says things a lot without thinking too much and if i ask if he's serious he tells me he's just messing with me or he's just doing it to be funny. Like everything someone sees as abusive is just him joking because once again he actually hurt me one time because he hit me in the head by accident and he wouldn't stop apologizing for it. I feel like i'm just overthinking it or obsessing but I'm so scared, I've been abused emotionally in the past and i'm afraid it's happening again but he's such a good guy but he jokes around so much. But I'm afraid he's not joking and I'm actually getting abused! Someone help me. I feel like I'm going crazy.