An update,..Some thoughts...

Hi all

I know I'm not regular here these days, but I do still come in times of troubled thoughts and reflections.
I keep journals....But sometimes I need to write where people can see.

I finally got the phonecall that I have been waiting for. My mentalist ion therapy is due to start in May. After being referred 2 and a half years ago....This is it.

Now I know better than to put all expectation and hope into this therapy. But. I have stabilised a an much as I can without professional input. It feels like I have been left in chronic emotional pain all this time, and now there is a chance to have life without that pain.

I am scared. Terrified even. Because it might not work. The things I have buried are complex. I am worried that I end up worse off....I could lose even more than I have already.

It's easy to look at and see how a tool can work....But to use and operate that tool on my own is going to be hard, and I am emotionally weak. I need to balance motivation, pressures expectations so that this opportunity isn't wasted.

Anyway. That's the main update that needed recording.

I'm sorry - this must be so challenging to face.

I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I'm also dealing with a couple of things where I'm sort of throwing my all at a last resort and hoping for the best, with the massive fear that it won't work out or will just get worse. And then what?

I do think it is incredibly important for you to put your best foot forward and really, truly try to work hard at this therapy, but it's equally as important for you to not pressure yourself so much and just take each moment as it comes. I know - that's such contradictory advice! Perhaps your therapist can help you strike a good balance? I don't know much about that particular type of therapy to be honest.

Regardless, you've survived this far - you will continue to do so. You've got this, and we're all rooting for you!! :yesyes:

That's what you call a very long wait jacsta.
After all that while. I am glad you kept a journal. You will need it.
In my opinion I think you will be better for it.
Hope all goes well. Maybe we will hear more from you in the future.
All the best:hugs:

Thanks both.
It is group therapy that is apparently recommended for borderline personality disorders.....The NHS is wonderful at delivering timely care....Don't ya think?

I will give it a good go. To be honest....Being as I am can't continue....It really can't get much worse than it has.....Though the emotional pain will increase, hopefully it can be redefined and resolved to the point where things can stop repeating.

It's fun how powerful a fuel fear can be

That's a long wait. I hope they support you well in the initial stages as that's when it's likely to hit you worse.

Glad they've finally got in touch.

I never heard of this type of therapy before how ever I go to Peer Support Group meetings via a MH charity called Changes and it really does help, sometimes there only 2 or 3 people go other times may 6 or a few more but its very useful and is in a safe non judgemental environment to talk in and has helped me a lot :) Wow that was along wait you had I personally would give it a go and try and think positive about it and what it can do for you in the long term, good luck and let us know how you get on :) Cheers