Socially anxiety in the form of paranoia and fear of rejection

Hi my names nathan, im 21 and I suffer from social anxieties that primarily make me quite paranoid, so I feel that when I go out in a public place (e.g. a city centre, shopping precinct, walking around my own village...) that everyone is looking at me and thinking/saying negative things about me. Its other effect on me is that I have a fear of rejection when it comes to socialising with people I've never met before or not known very long which makes it hard for me to make friends when I start a new job, or meet friends of friends or go to a club or gig. Also it effects me going into relationships for the same reason. I dont have the confidence to go up to a girl and tell her I like her, or for that matter talk to a girl I've never met before.
For me the dominant cause of the social anxieties are my low self esteem and the fact I was bullied alot in secondary school.

So I was just wonder can any of you guys relate?

Thanks:)

im not a guy, but i have exactly the same problem. im 32 and still dont know how to change it. my fear of rejection leads me to avoidance... and as a result i am perpetually single :(

I can totally relate, to both of you to be honest. I think in my case it's my complete lack of confidence. It makes building relationships very hard, and of course my anxiety makes things much harder than they need to be. What I mean is, if I was just dealing with low confidence, I think things could be much better for me. I mean for a start I'd be able to work, and do the 'normal' things. That in itself would boost my confidence.

I have fears of rejections too, and it makes getting close to people, very difficult. I struggle with intimate relationships, and I struggle to a certain degree with emotional commitment. It can be very hard, but we must try keep positive

Good to see you on on here Nathan, and I hope you find this place useful

Danny :)

Thank you both. Its good to hear that other people can relate to me, and are in the same boat so to speak:).

@xfilme dont worry when I said guys I meant it in the slang sense, in other words im being infromal refering to boys and girls. Just thought id mention that in case of confusion, lol.

I think you have to make the distinction for yourself between low self-confidence and your phobia. Low self-esteem might be the root of your anxiety but that doesn't mean you are not a truly confident or capable person on a deeper level. Understand that you have a psychological disease that is separate from your real identity.

If you had a broken leg you wouldn't be able to walk for a little while but you wouldn't beat yourself up about it because you would know that you could walk fine again when your leg healed. It wouldn't affect your confidence in yourself. If that helps I think its kind of the same with this anxiety thing. You have to distance yourself from it. Its not a reflection of who you really are. Its like a broken limb. It could happen to anyone.