when you go looking you will find :-(

well i have been fishing in around in my hubbies things dont know why just mega anxious today. And i have found out him and my mom have arranged a suprise 30th party for tonight. I knew i was going out tonight but thought i was just me and him for a quiet night. I am petrified my anxiety is through the roof i am so anxious at becoming 30 anway feel really old and now i have to worry about the shock of walking in infront of everybody and looking shocked i dont think i can do it, i hate being centre of attention and am trying to think of ways to get out of it. On top of this i take propranol and citalopram and am scared to have a drink but its the only way i will get through the night, i know im being incredibly selfish but i really cant believe he is springing this on me he knows how ill ive been.

Hey Rebecca

As hard as it sounds, you should try and enjoy it. I'm sure you would rather look back on turning 30 as surrounded by people, having fun, and not that you got out of it, because you were anxious, or worried.

I know it seems impossible now, but it might be the distraction and celebration that you need.

None of us like getting older, but you may as well do it having fun.

I didn't drink for quite some time on anxiety meds, but started having drinks here and there, and it didn't really affect me, it is nice having the choice, as long as you take it carefully.

Also, it's very easy for us with anxiety to become self absorbed and always think of our own worries, that's natural, but your husband is only trying to make you happy, and show you he cares, i've been in this situation before with girlfriends and turned them down, or not felt great about going out etc, but looking back, they were just being nice and trying to make things better.

I hope you do go, and at least try and enjoy it, it's the small steps (or big steps) that help get over anxiety, and not let it take over the things we should be embracing.

Hope that doesn't sound too preachy or ****y, but I hope you have fun.

Chris x

First of all Happy Birthday.

Go tonight, act surprised and have a good time. You know all the horrible things we imagine in our lives, this is one of those good things you need to let yourself enjoy.

Its a chance to have fun and get your mind off things. I have been on Lexapro for a few months now and have had a few drinks now and then and have been just fine. Everything in moderation.

:hugs:

Hi. What a dilema. I can really sympathise with you and dont have the words to make you feel better as I will be honest and say that I would hate it. Your hubby and mum are only trying to do something nice for you as they love you. Do your friends and family know what you have been going through? Why dont you go along with it and see how you get on. I'm sure having a few drinks wont do you any harm and you never know you might enjoy yourself. It might be just what you need to give yourself a boost. And being 30 is not old, its great, from what I can remember! Let us know how you get on. Best wishes.