Feel Awful!

Hi Everyone
I am going to have a moan as i need to let it all out!
My panic disorder returned after 10 years. I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago and dont know if this was the cause but it returned badly.
I use to drink wine nearly every night and drink a lot at the weekend it helped me sleep i suppose i became reliant on it. The last few days i started to feel better then last night had a couple of glasses of wine at my freinds.Big mistake! I feel terrible today I could just about make it to the shops and then I just kept having panic attacks one after anouther.Just wanted to go home and hide!The panic attacks now are scary as i have new symptons funny taste in mouth,dizzeness,hot sweats,shaking,nausea,insomnia which freaks me out even more. I have recently moved and had to change doctors my new doctors are crap they just keep giving me beta blockers which dont work.I have been told to come off fluoxetine which i have been on for years and take citalopram but will have to wean myself off the fluoxetine first. This even scares me!But i have been told citalopram is very good for anxiety..
my boyfreind is in the army and comes back next week we have only been together for 5 months. Before he went away i was fine and now i am thinking of ending the relationship as i dont want him to see me like this. He has been very supportive but i think he should go and find someone normal! I live alone with my 2 year old son and feel i cant cope anymore looking after him. I get the scariest thoughts and am so depressed. I just want to go back to my old self. if anyone has any advice I would be grateful.
Ruthx

Hi Ruth,

Sorry to hear you're feeling blue. I get panic attacks with feeling hot, sweaty, shakey and nauseous too so know how it feels. :( I've also had to change doctors recently because I moved house. Is there another medical practise nearby you could change to?

Try not to put yourself down too much (it's difficult to I know). What is a normal person anyway... I've not met one yet! :laugh: Now is not the time to make big decisions about relationships etc. Think things through when you feel more relaxed which will happen sooner rather than later. Your boyfriend sounds like a really nice guy and if he cares (which I'm sure he does) he will want to help in whatever way he can.

I am on Citalopram at the moment but don't think it is working for me. Like you I am worried about coming off the medication when the time comes as I don't feel strong enough to cope. Have you considered councelling or psychotherapy? There are over the phone councelling schemes you can try if that would make you feel more comfortable.

I'm sure you are coping much better than you think. Something that has helped me is to set some really small tasks for the day so I can look back in the evening and say 'yes I did that today'. It could be something as simple as doing the washing up, ironing, writing a few e-mails etc. Do you have anyone that could look after your son for an hour or two to give you a break?

As for scary thoughts, a couple of weeks ago I went to bed not being bothered if I didn't wake up the next day. I'm sure everyone on here gets horrid thoughts sometimes.

Take care and feel free to PM/e-mail me anytime,

:hugs:

Mike

Ruth

It may well be that the change in alcohol and sugar levels has been the trigger for the panics.

You don't say if you stopped drinking slowly or suddenly but from having none in your system to suddenly overdoing it seems to have kicked your system into overdrive which is fairly common.

You really need to look after yourself well, on a health kick of being careful with sugar, caffiene, alcohol, other stimulants like red bull and upping the exercise and active relaxation and good nutrition and you will probably see a good improvement fairly quickly.

As for the fluoxetine, if you do decide to come off it please do it slowly if you've been on it a while...

I always said to my boyfriend of just a few months to go ahead and leave to find someone normal. He didn't go as he always maintained it was just a temporary illness and I would be fine soon and now that I am back being myself I am soo pleased he decided to weather the storm.