Ms fear and anxiety

I am posting here because I know a lot of you have been through what I am going through. I hope you can offer me some supprt.

I have been having problems with my health for over a year now. I have had some anxiety and uncertainty in my life due to being made redundant in my job and the break up of my marriage. I have had several short term jobs and havent managed to secure any certainty in terms of money. I have also had to move back in with my family as I cant afford to live independantly. Furthermore I am single for the first time in over 6 years.

However, most of these problems surfaced after I started having health issues. It started with having these really odd spells where I would feel really dizzy and weak for about ten mins. It was as if the ground ws rushing towards me and as if my legs were going to buckle. I would panic and be unable to breath. I had horrific headaches and aches - mainly in my right site.

I was diagnosed at the time with migraine headaches and a suspected viral infection and was hospitalised as my heart rate was so fast.

I experienced tinling and pains in my right hand along with the headaches and was reffered to a neurologist. I had two brain Mri's and a lunber puncture - all clear. As was all bloodwork - neuro - exame - CAT head scan and for that matter tests for anxiety. ( charts that you fill in and score)

However, the problems wont go away. I am having stiffness and pain in my legs and when I walk I feel lik ethey may buckle. I get the dizzieness when the ground rushes towards me. Im tired ALL THE TIME. No matter how long I sleep Im still fatugued. The headaches have eased off but Im still getting tingling in my hands and feet - especially at night. SOmetimes I wake up at night and both my feet are numb.

I accept and know that some of my symptoms are anxiety related. However, the intensity and frequency of some of it terrifies me. Ive been to the doctor so many times. SOmetimes I think I get too scared to tell hm how intensly some of these things effect me -especially my legs. He is very understanding and thinks that some of this may be post viral and some anxiety. Post viral and anxiety I can take. What terrifies me the most is MS. My uncle - who is only 45- has this. He is in a full time care home and completly unable to care for himself. What scares me is that it took a long time for him to be diagnosed and I fear this is what Ive got. The tests suggest otherwise - but the symptoms wont go away.

I have been avoiding going on anti -anxiety meds - for the reason that Im scared they wont help. I SOOOO much want this to be anxiety related and fear that if I go on meds and they do not help me - the cause of my symptoms must be something more sinister. I ve lost a year of my life to this and I am terrified that I will never be me again.

Thank you very much for reading this post. This forum gives me a lot of strength and if you reply - I thank you in advance.

hi I haven't got much in way of a solution but I know what you're going through is horrible and lots of people on here have the same fear of MS.
Perhaps you could give the anti anxiety meds a go, they can only make you feel better so it's worth a try at least
also how about asking your Dr for some CBT? that's very useful for health anxiety
hope you get your life back soon!
best wishes

Hi there lazzerus,

Wow your story sounds so much like me... I went through a divorce and massive upheaval 3 years ago, moving away from the town where I'd lived for 11 years to a totally new place. I put all my strength into coping with this, and didn't fall apart. I even found a new girlfriend, quite soon after moving, but when that relationship started to fall apart after 2 years together, I started getting horrible physical symptoms.

It started with a feeling of weakness in my hands, which induced panic attacks, where I'd have to go outside and walk around for a while to make sure that I could still move. I'd find when I walked I would feel really unsteady and off balance, and my legs would feel like jelly and feel like they weren't going to support me.

I get terrrible pain in my neck and shoulders, mostly in the trapezius muscle on my right side. My whole body feels tight and tensed up and aching. I am exhausted all the time, unable to concentrate, obsessed with my condition. I get twitches across my body, my arms and legs jerk sometimes, there are crawling twitches in my calf muscles, I get pins and needles and headaches and tightness in my scalp and numbness in my face. I've managed to keep working but I have no idea how.

Like you I have obsessed about MS, and also ALS. My body literally feels like it is stopping working, slowly but surely, and it won't be long before I am unable to move, unable to do anything for myself. That's what this "anxiety" feels like. This has understandably led to a quite serious depression as I just don't know which way to turn anymore.

I just wonder if, people like us who have been in relationships for so long, some part of us doesn't know how to live on our own, so we fall apart. I find it some coincidence that my symptoms really began to rage as soon as I was single again.

I have actually been trying Citalopram for the past 4 weeks, moving up gradually to now taking 30mg. I think they help with the mental symptoms of anxiety and depression a bit, but the physical symptoms continue to rage on. I am going to give them another month to see if they calm my nervous system down.

If you're still at the stage of trying to understand all this, I would read Claire Weekes books, they describe very well the physical sensations that you are currently scared of, and where they come from.

PM me if you want to chat.

Gareth

Dear Lazzarus,

do take your anti-anxiety medications. If your symptoms ARE anxiety related, in a few weeks time you'll forget about all this nightmare.

If they are not, you will still feel more relaxed and might realize that your problems might not be due to MS anyway, as your tests are clear.

I have had muscles twitching for months and months, got worried sick (my grandma died of motoneurone disease), lost weight and spent lots of money to fly to another country, have an MRi and see a consultant (all done privately, it cost me about £700). The neurologist looked at my MRi, then at me and gave me anti-anxiety medications!
One of my symptoms (slurred speech and muscle pain) disappeared immediately, while the muscle twitching didn't, I still have it: they are benign fasciculations.

So, while you're attributing all of your symptoms to one problem, the reality might be different! Some might be anxiety related (loss of balance-I've had it many times and for many years-tingling in hands and feet-yep, got that, anxiety due etc.), some might not be.

Your tests are clear, I'm not saying that you're fine, as you obviously are experiencing some problems, but it's not MS. Go back for further tests, but do take your medications!

Good luck to you and let us know how you're doing.

V

As a long time sufferer, (of anxiety not MS) I can only tell you, you have written my story for me, I read what you said and you tick my symptom boxes and triggers.

Like you say this site is a great support, and we are all with you.
Oh and get the prescription, life changing, although crawling twitches in my legs continue, and I still have the odd bad day, but on the whole Im more settled and calmer.

Rachael:flowers:
PM anytime.