Worried about taking Zoloft

Hello. I find the whole SSRI taking business between tricky and lifesaving.
The biggest issue I have with it is 'plateauing'.
It is great coming up or going down. Both of these have a really pleasant effect, I like the changes and the freedom each one feels it is giving.
I take a half dose, 25mg, of sertraline. Just enough to focus me, reduce mood swings but most of all increase reward behaviour, where I do something because there is a pay-off.
Without it I am like my teenage years and twenties, abrasive, angry, unfocused, miserable, unmotivated.
Too much and I feel like a robot.
Whatever I take, plateaus off, becomes ineffective, like a shield, but no good vibes, just samey. Taking more just feels robotic and clogged.
I find the coming off and back on, a holiday, makes it work again. Eventually it stalls, but this is the paradox contained in it.
Also boosting testosterone levels with supplements is very effective, I am surprised to learn.
I can not decide if the worried and over sensitive me is the real me, or the robotic one who can cope with a job and my spare time is the real me.

Hi Martyrich

Good question. I think much of the medical opinion today would see chemical imbalances as part of the problem, so the stability provided by the medication would be what you should be like to some extent. Not exactly though, as it would presumably be more effective and accurate if our brains could get these balances right themselves in the first place, without medical intervention.

I'm on Sertraline 50mg, but thankfully am stable on it. My doc wants me on it for six months then try to come off. I'm enjoying the more relaxed feel of things, but am worried about what may happen when I try to come off. Still, I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Tyke