Going crazy because I sqaushed a cockroach

Please help me rationalize my OCD is beating me.

The other night I opened my fridge and there was a cockroach in the bottom of it. I went to get a clear container to move it outside because I hate killing insects. So then I get the container and get an intrusive OCD thought "This is life or death, kill it or you are in danger". So I just give into the OCD thought and instead of getting it in the container I use the bottom of the container to squash the cockroach. The bloody bottom of the container is clear and was not quite flat but rounded so I just injured the crap out of it and one of it's legs was twitching. I could see the whole thing. I kept trying to squash it more and more and it did not quite kill it. It let out this stink gas smell and I brushed it out of the bottom of the fridge onto the tiled floor, it was twitching and I stepped on it finishing it off, it was the goriest **** I have ever seen. I completely panicked and got the bug and put it outside in the bin. I cleaned the area and tried to forget about it. I let my dogs in hoping they would 'cleanse' the area because they kill bugs all the time but I still feel really bad and mental.

I just feel this overwhelming feeling of guilt that won't go away and I feel like my entire living room is contaminated. I keep trying to think how pest control operators kill thousands of cockroaches each year without a second thought so why can't I let it go? I feel so guilty and worry that something will happen to me now. My OCD is really getting the better of me.

Can someone help me rationalize this? Have you squashed a cockroach and felt guilty? I feel like a twit worrying about this but I can't let it go. I am worried that I have bad karma now. I know I can't just never go in my living room again that would be silly. Please advise..

Squashing bugs is nasty but its gotta be done! Remember, bugs are not complex enough to feel upset and horrified at being squashed, they just have a little brain that is telling the body, "getting squashed, move as much as possible to try to escape". For a human to get squashed would be entirely different.
I know how you feel because once there was a large spider on the wall so I picked up my mums sliiper and just....yeah you can guess and it made a mess. We thought it was hilarious at first but I quickly progressed from laughing into tears of horror and guilt!
The fact that you feel guilty about a small thing like this shows what a sensitive person you are, you have a high level of empathy and it's part of the reason you have anxiety problems. You won't find this such a problem when you are better, your rationalization is off at the moment :)

---------- Post added at 10:55 ---------- Previous post was at 10:53 ----------

As for the karma, you are acually doing the bug a favour in Buddhism, as the bug will be reborn into the next lifeform and get closer to Nirvana again :D I'm not Bhuddist though bt RS lessons do come in handy sometimes :D

Hey Pancho,

Thankyou so much for the rationalization and help. I owe ya one! It has really helped me to deal with this situation right now. I keep repeating over and over in my head in response to the thoughts what you said about doing it a favor. Also you said my rationalization is off at the moment - that is definitely true. I have to figure out how to get better. I will post a post asking this in now. Thanks mate.