Pseudodysphagia

I feel with the experiences that I have gone through in my life it is imperative that I share with you how you can overcome your fear of Pseudodysphagia.

First off I am going to explain to you how I developed my fear. It started when I was about 16 years old I had friends over at my house and my Mom just finished making dinner. Even though I was not hungry at the time she said "If you do not eat the food I made all your friends will have to leave". I was having fun with them and didn't want them to go so i started to eat with a rush. The very 1st bite that I took of chicken I did not chew enough and I started choking. I was sitting their for about 20 seconds while everybody was just watching me slowly lose consciousness. I screamed as loud as I could and the chicken finally flew out. Out of breath I asked everybody angrily why none of them helped me and they were all just in shock. I did not know but my throat at the time was still inflamed and it felt like chicken was still stuck there so i called the fire department to come help me. When they came they put a tube down my throat and checked my oxygen levels and said everything was normal, But i still had the feeling there. It felt like a lump or "ball" in my throat. I was to afraid to eat or drink anything the rest of the night in fear that if I pushed this lump down I would start choking again. Eventually after many hours the feeling went down on its own.

I lived with this condition for 2 years before deciding to do something about it. I lived in fear, anxiety, and shame. No one understood whats its like to have a fear of choking. I even became suicidal because I had to smoothie everything I ate otherwise the flashbacks would come back. I lost about 50 pounds because I would avoid eating foods and I would want to sleep all the time because I would have anxiety the immediate second I woke up.

I contacted a psychologist who would listen to me and it felt like she was the only person who didn't judge me on something so simple on just eating food she understood what it was like to have this irrational fear. I went to her for 11 months. During this time I would still have the fear but it would slowly reduce until I had full control over the fear. My therapy mostly consisted of cognitive therapy, but it felt like she was just really having a conversation with me and explaining to me how I can use this fear to my advantage and understand it. Use the fear as a way to grow myself. Now she was also very religious and she believes in fate and thinks I was destined to have this fear in order for some greater purpose in the future.

I am 21 years old today and I have full control of my fear. My advice to any of you with a fear developed the same way that I have (because all our fears have a different stem depending of it's origin) is that you don't run from the fear and face it. Experiment with the fear and use it as a way to build yourself. All our emotions and fears come from our minds. You have the absolute power to let go of your fear. The only thing holding you back is you. Stop telling yourself you can't let go, or it's to hard, or people don't understand you. I know what it's like I have been there. The truth is no one has your condition the same way you do. something that i tried was the whenever that lump feeling came back whenever i ate anything i would literally drown myself in drinking water. I had an immense fear while doing it but it would completely clear my throat. I also made the decision that I would rather die than live in fear. It's amazing how quickly you can let go of something that controls you once you change your perspective and face it.

I shared with you my story and hopefully I can inspire you to let go of your fears or whatever is controlling your life. This can be used for any situation not just Pseudodysphagia. If you have any questions or would like to chat about something that you have been having a hard time with do not hesitate to contact me. I wish you all the best!