panic attacks ruining my life, feels like im dying !!x

Hi everyone, im so glad that ive found this site. I thought nobody could feel as bad as i do, its great to know that im not the only one ( i dont mean that in a bad way !)
I started having panic attacks nearly 2 years ago I did something very stupid one night when i was out clubbing, i took some ecstasy pills. My life has never been the same since. It felt like a good idea at the time ( i was drunk) and as everyone was doing it and they seemed fine i thought why not ! Soon after taking them i felt dreadful, i went outside the club convinced i was dying and begged a policeman to call an ambulance, the policeman tried to calm me down saying that it was probaly a panic attack but by then i struggling to breath, i had a pain in my chest and i was convinced i was dying, i said goodbye to my partner and he was in tears, it felt like i was dying. An ambulance arrived and took me to hospital, they couldnt do anything for me, they said that it was just a panic attack and they had to monitor me til the drugs had worn off, i was in hospital for about 12 hours and all this time i felt like if i didnt consentrate on my breathing then i would just stop and die. To cut a long story short i have never been the same since. I am convinced that i damage my heart that night as i get frequent pains in my chest as im constantly tired and depressed. My doctor has tried to assure me that im fine and healthy and they are just panic attacks but i dont believe him. I dont understand how a panic attack can cause so much pain and make me feel so ill all the time, im constantly dreadind the next one and sometimes they happen without warning, yesterday i was making our tea and i got a sudden sharp pain in my chest which made me have a painc attack, it was awful. Ive been put on citalopram for my panic attacks and depression but so far they dont seem to be working. My life is hell, i just want to be a 'normal' 28 year old women who doesnt worry about dying everyday xxx:blush:

Hi Sarah Jane:welcome:

It is hard to believe that panic and anxiety can give us such powerful symptoms but they can. Fear of how you are feeling is keeping the cycle going and this will get better the more you understand what is happening and what you can do about it.There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'self help for your nerves', published by Thorsons. This is available from the NMP Shop. Her work can also be downloaded free to your MP3 from the shop. I can't recommend this enough, as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. I take citalopram 10mg which has lifted my mood and took about two weeks to kick in. Glad you have found us.

Veronica

I am 32 and have been in an out of panic attacks and depression phases for 4 years.

It does get better when you get moew understanding in what is happening to you.

Every time for me is can be a different hit symptom.

sometimes heartbeat, sometimes breathing, sometimes lack of appetite, sometimes nausea, sometimes tight band around head.

And every times it feels very very real - it feels that each of the symptoms will definately kill you.

But it is only a symptom...it is not more than that....

You will get over it eventually, you will see

Fear is something very powerfull when we let it to be.

fear of anything, and it also drains us, kills our confidence and brings us into total depression,

AND LOLENESS

Very good points made there - I totally agree with you! I think when we suffer from anxiety we need to remember that we have a life before this happened, and we will have one after. I have chronic anxiety at the mo, which I keep being told is depression! I am feeling the fear and letting it boss me, which is draining in itself! If anyone has any tips on how to get an appetite back I would be greatful!

H.x