Currently in therapy, my therapist wants me to "agree with" my intrusive thoughts

So, the obsession that has been bothering me a lot over the past year (and, I realize in smaller amounts over many years) is worrying that things I am doing (for instance, this post and hence my NMP account) will get contaminated by my intrusive thoughts. And of course I realize that makes no sense.


It is more about the "groinal responses" I get to my intrusive thoughts. I'm sure some of you with OCD know what this is, and it can come with sexual obsessions. But I'll give you an example of something that happened. I saw a picture of a girl on Facebook, thought she was pretty, but then realized she was like 15/16 in that picture (even though she's 21 or 22 now). My compulsion would be to start at that picture until I didn't feel any attraction or groinal responses, and then that would undo the groinal response. However, I didn't do that to my satisfaction, and then sent someone a message on this account I have on a writing site. So that meant the account was contaminated, so I had to delete it.


Really annoying and totally stupid, especially since I was making decent money (at least for me) from that writing site. I've been working on another account, but yeah...it could just as easily get "contaminated." Anyway, my intrusive thoughts have gotten worse, for example thoughts of sexual assault and then worrying I'm aroused by the thoughts.


So I'm going to a specialist, and he's telling me to agree with the thoughts. However, to tell myself that I'm aroused by a thought of sexually assaulting a relative, and actually WANT TO DO THAT (he's having me listen to a recording talking about how people who get these thoughts are likely to carry out those actions - not that he believes that, it's just exposure, even though I always knew I would never do anything like that and it was just the fear of being aroused that was bothering me) is wayy too much for me.


I also don't believe it's the only way to get over intrusive thoughts. A person could tell themselves, "Maybe I was aroused, maybe I wasn't" or even "that's just a nonsense OCD thought; I can tell the groinal response apart from actual arousal" (although I know some people would say that that is reassurance, but I feel like if it makes the thoughts unimportant it still makes them go away...).


I'm really considering leaving therapy because of this. It's way too terrible to tell myself that I want to sexually assault my relative. What the heck? Anyway, this guy is an expert so he certainly knows what he's talking about, but I just don't think this is the only way to get over bad thoughts...maybe it's the fastest and most efficient, but geez...I don't think I'm willing to go that far!


I did ask if we could slow it down, and he said I could tell myself "maybe I was" for now but I will eventually have to agree with the thoughts fully. But wouldn't "maybe" work just as well at the end of the day since it's still embracing uncertainty?

I have never had a therapist tell me that with my Intrusive Thoughts, that being said, I wouldn't give up on therapy, just find a different therapist

"Agreeing" with the obsessive thoughts is one possible technique of CBT therapy, and I think this may be what your therapist meant. It doesn't mean that you should accept your thoughts as if they true. It just tricks your OCD into thinking that the thing you are obsessing over means nothing to you, and that's really important, since OCD always clings onto something that you care about the most.

Imagine you meet a drunk guy on the street. He yells obscenities at you, but instead of arguing with him, you just say to him "yeah, you're right" and walk away. The drunk guy doesn't know what to say anymore, since he didn't expect this sort of reaction. In this example, the drunk guy is the metaphor for your OCD. If you don't react to your intrusive thoughts, your OCD will slowly lose its power. :)

That being said, I think your therapist should have explained it to you better. The principle of this technique may be clear to him, but a person with OCD may become confused by it. If you feel that this isn't the therapist for you, do not hesitate to change the specialist. It is very important to find someone you feel comfortable talking to, since you share your intimate thoughts with them. It may take a while, but your mental well-being is the most important factor here!

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Originally Posted by Ryukil

So, the obsession that has been bothering me a lot over the past year (and, I realize in smaller amounts over many years) is worrying that things I am doing (for instance, this post and hence my NMP account) will get contaminated by my intrusive thoughts. And of course I realize that makes no sense.


It is more about the "groinal responses" I get to my intrusive thoughts. I'm sure some of you with OCD know what this is, and it can come with sexual obsessions. But I'll give you an example of something that happened. I saw a picture of a girl on Facebook, thought she was pretty, but then realized she was like 15/16 in that picture (even though she's 21 or 22 now). My compulsion would be to start at that picture until I didn't feel any attraction or groinal responses, and then that would undo the groinal response. However, I didn't do that to my satisfaction, and then sent someone a message on this account I have on a writing site. So that meant the account was contaminated, so I had to delete it.


Really annoying and totally stupid, especially since I was making decent money (at least for me) from that writing site. I've been working on another account, but yeah...it could just as easily get "contaminated." Anyway, my intrusive thoughts have gotten worse, for example thoughts of sexual assault and then worrying I'm aroused by the thoughts.


So I'm going to a specialist, and he's telling me to agree with the thoughts. However, to tell myself that I'm aroused by a thought of sexually assaulting a relative, and actually WANT TO DO THAT (he's having me listen to a recording talking about how people who get these thoughts are likely to carry out those actions - not that he believes that, it's just exposure, even though I always knew I would never do anything like that and it was just the fear of being aroused that was bothering me) is wayy too much for me.


I also don't believe it's the only way to get over intrusive thoughts. A person could tell themselves, "Maybe I was aroused, maybe I wasn't" or even "that's just a nonsense OCD thought; I can tell the groinal response apart from actual arousal" (although I know some people would say that that is reassurance, but I feel like if it makes the thoughts unimportant it still makes them go away...).


I'm really considering leaving therapy because of this. It's way too terrible to tell myself that I want to sexually assault my relative. What the heck? Anyway, this guy is an expert so he certainly knows what he's talking about, but I just don't think this is the only way to get over bad thoughts...maybe it's the fastest and most efficient, but geez...I don't think I'm willing to go that far!


I did ask if we could slow it down, and he said I could tell myself "maybe I was" for now but I will eventually have to agree with the thoughts fully. But wouldn't "maybe" work just as well at the end of the day since it's still embracing uncertainty?

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Hello there. Ive recently read a book on the situation, i suggest you give it ago, its called "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" it really helped me.
The reasons your thoughts are so disturbing and upsetting is because they are not the person you are!
Your Thoughts are just thoughts, remember you have Anxiety so this is magnifying the thought and blowing it out of proportion.
Thoughts are just thoughts junk thoughts!
Remind yourself "This is an Intrusive thought, you can tell because it feels so awfull" you feel awful because that is not the person you are.

I will check out that book, thanks. :)

Anyone else have opinions on this? I'd be curious to see your opinion MyNameisTerry...

When I did cbt for ocd she gave me a similar tip.. she told me not to try and think about something else but to think the whole thought through and accept the thought.. just let it play out in your head and agree with it then it will leave you..
I get like lots of death ocd intrusive thoughts .. funny really as I work in the funeral trade so go figure .. but I’ll worry about what If I lose control and kill myself by mistake.. what if I killed my self over and over and over again until I’m upset and scared I’ll do it... so the destress for anyone experiencing it can be awful..
I’d say ocd is the hardest thing to overcome to be fair ..
I do struggle myself but find if I think the whole thought through .. it’s sometimes not as bad?! I just accept it and think ok yeah .. I could lose control and kill my self that would be shit **** off now����
It’s hard isn’t it .. but in some respects they aren’t wrong .. making the thought negative doesn’t challenge the thought I gues?! It just allows you to sit with it swirling around your head ...

I can relate to actually as I have a step daughter and sometimes have some weird weird thoughts and think oh god what if I’m a total freak bla bla bla and now I actually make myself laugh at the thought and allow it to play out .. because I know deep down I wouldn’t do that thing .. so I make it a funny thing rather than somethjnf to fear or find negative ..
As I was told from the beginning you are not your thoughts .. you are not that person it’s your mind tricking you ..
I hope you are able to give it a go and in the long run it may help..
don’t worry about it though everything works differently for different people xxx