To CIT or not to CIT - that is the question...

Hi all,

I am a 27 year old guy and over the last year or so I have started becoming aware that I have mental health issues, issues which I probably have had for years and not realized.

Basically what I am trying to decide is, even though what I have is OCD / health anxiety / some depression, I am not really so heavily depressed and I don't know whether I can get out of this without anti-depressants.

To sum things up, last winter I felt very low, I was heavily depressed, very emotionally numb, wasn't doing many social things, didnt really know anybody, stayed at home all day everyday, slept/ was tired a lot, and lived pretty much on my own, had occasional feelings of emptiness, pointlessness and suicide.

Fast forward 6 months later (without anti-depressants, I never took them), I am now doing some volunteering in a poor shelter, I am playing football twice a week, tennis once a week, meeting people socially. I have decent apetite. I guess the only thing that is lacking is I still don't really look forward to anything that much (only very slightly), and the feelings of well-being and joy that I used to have are still not there.

In my life, after doing a lot of reading and thinking, I think I have come to the conclusion that my OCD / health anxiety / slight depressive state is linked to the fact that I am not sexually active, i.e. I don't have a girlfriend. I seem to remember a while back when I had a girlfriend and had sex, my mood was much higher, and had feelings of well-being and good apetite, and also I had no OCD/ health anxiety (literally none).

After all this typing, I am trying to figure out, if I have come so far without anti-ds, and my mood has changed so much for the better without any anti-ds, should I carry on without them.

I guess what I am scared of is that without anti-ds, it might take me a much longer time to find a girlfriend (since I remember when I wasn't depressed I felt more attractive and attracted to women), whereas now I am more lukewarm towards them, and my libido is still not 100%.

Should I tough it out without anti-ds, or should I go on citalopram for say 6-12 months, try and get a girlfriend, and then come off them? Since I honestly believe this OCD / health anxiety is basically unfulfilled sexual drive. (Even Freud said that).

I mean really, I don't feel that bad, not way near how I felt last winter. I am still not 100 per cent, but I would not classify what I have as more than light-moderate depressive state, definitely not heavy. I don't know. Part of me wants the quick and easy way out with the anti-ds, rather than the long hard road of making life-style changes (putting in a lot of effort in meeting women to try and get a girlfriend) which I know will help me. Maybe it's just my character, I am impatient and I want solutions quickly, rather than have to work for them. And maybe that's what anti-ds are, quick solutions for impatient people like me.

Thanks all.

hi i would keep going as u are because it sounds like u have done a brilliant job getting this far without them

Anti ds are by no means a quick fix, they take a while to get into your system and start working, you seem to be doing really well without them, again it all comes down to personal choice, some people just can't cope without a little help, me being one of them.

As a lot of people have said on here it's nothing to be ashamed of, you would take paracetamol for a sore head wouldn't you?

Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck