New to SSRI and worried

Hi All

Ive joined to hopefully get some support, advice and experience. Im on day 3 of escitalopram.

Im going to start from the beginning to give a full picture so apologies for the long post - maybe you have felt like this and would like to share your experience as I feel it would be beneficial.

Im have a stressful job, and have always been a worrier (especially about health). Over the past year or two I've noticed that I have lost interest in a few things over time and have felt like I had no energy - that lifted elated exhale feeling of leaving work seemed to have gone.

A year ago was again stressful at work but then some added stresses came up at home too - over this period I noticed I had started get a funny feeling in my stomach (which I put down to my IBS - but it felt different somehow), I was really tired, felt jumpy/slightly shaky at the silliest of things and had become irritable, had headaches around the eyes. I went out on a night out drinking and awoke feeling 'different' - I felt as though I had indigestion or acid reflux and was placed on a PPI to little or no effect really - over this time I became increasingly anxious about possible refiux, gerd and LPR as towards the end of the PPI I had a very bad sore throat - this sore throat affected my work and work became even more stressful as I have to use my voice a lot.

Since then I have exist between constant thoughts of putting it down to 'real reflux and LPR' to thoughts of stress/anxiety being the cause - awaiting test results which still do not prove or disprove anything has led to more anxiety and I feel its now become a viscous cycle chicken and egg.

Fast forward to recent months - I have increased exercise and meditation but the worry and other feeling still exist - I suffer from a tight, globus like throat (which I believe causes me to strain my voice), and with some sort of real or imagined sense of reflux (I can't tell if its actual silent reflux or if its over sensitization) - what I do know is that I can have some (albeit very few days) without these symptoms and I feel great, but then when U get back to work and stress rises it all comes back.

So now Im here, fed up with the constant merry go round and have finally decided to try the tablets Im on day 3 - Im not sure if it was related but about a hour after I took my first tablet I had a very bad stomach - to be fair I put this down to a release of my IBS as I didnt expect side effects that quickly? I have a slight headache, had a bad nights sleep, feel a bit void/spaced/flat - the worry seems to be less impactful but thoughts still exist?

Q1)That feeling of void/spaced/flat - Im starting to think that this is the normal baseline level that people are at, and as I haven't been there for some time I read it as 'flat' - what are your thoughts or is this how I will feel for the duration of the meds?

Q2)Im now worrying about taking them - ha ha a new worry - is this just the meds kicking in?

Q3)I worry about returning to work after xmas - would I be over (or have seen the majority) of side effects by then?

Q4)I am concerned about the sexual effects of the of SSRI - I have read that it can cause long term sexual problems in men and I am not that old - is this rare or can it come back if it goes?

Q5)I worry about coming off meds like this, I worry that I will have to go from one med to another and once you start down this path then thats it - anyone managed to get off them and stay off?

Q6)Its Xmas and I would like a few beers and a glass of wine or two - not excessive or anything but you know at a party etc - drinking but not like 10 pints or anything, has anyone or does anyone have a few drinks while their on this?

Well there you go, I hope you have kept with it - as you can see I worry a bit but never used to worry like this, so I need to get back somehow!!

Hopefully someone else can pop by and share their experiences. Some of these questions you may want to pose to your doc as well.

I may have gotten really lucky with this med, but it's done wonders for me. I haven't had any major side effects - nothing sexual or anything like that - and even the start-up side effects were more annoying than traumatic.

My emotions haven't changed, I've just found I generally handle stress better.

I understand your fears as I was scared too. From time to time I still do have a scary thought. I think in general bad ideas are spread about mental health drugs and, being anxiety sufferers, we internalize them. But so far so good here.

I tell you - when I started these medications it was because I was taking accutane. I had had HA fears in the past and other bouts of anxiety, but this one was particularly bad. Why? Because I had googled something about THAT drug, which has a very bad rep floating around the internet, and was convinced I had done all kinds of terrible damage to myself. I was absolutely petrified.

And...a year after I stopped taking it and no bad side effects to speak of. I barely had any while I was taking it - slightly dry skin but nothing to cry over! It just worked and maybe I got lucky, but some "side effects" that people on the internet claim to have may be due to something else entirely, but they've attributed it to this drug or another.

I haven't had the chance yet to go off of lexapro and see how I do, but I imagine I'll be okay. I don't think the tapering will be that fun - you have to deal with side effects then too - but hopefully I'll be in a better headspace and can cope.

Best of luck to you!