fear of not dying,now fear of dying

sorry if this seeems like a long message.it started when i was about 14 i was scared of not dying but not living for ever or being an angel or being re born ect couldnt explain it or being the next dr who:D but when i was 16 i went to the beach with some freinds they through me in the water next thing i knew i was on the beach bleeding one of the guys when he threw me in his 2 front teeth were stuck in my head so went to hospital got stiches i was fine on the way home the car went into a ditch we were all ok, when i was 22 i had my son he was born 15 weeks early due to me loosing blood every day i only have one kidney i was born with it the doctors said i needed to have him now as i had a serious infection i needed treatment they said its the baby or you i had to choose i chose to keep him inside of me for as long as i could but that evening i had him he was 1lb 3oz hes 13 now and fine. then at 27 i had an ectopic pregnancy had a tube removed they said i was lucky as my tube was about to burst i was very ill for a few weeks.i felt something was keeping me on this planet thats when i was scared that i wouldnt die i never had panic attacks back then. now since 3 weeks ago i was in hospital with a kidney infection i had my first panic attack there didnt know what was happening i needed the loo i was running around like a mad woman. i came home and suddenly i was scared i was going to die my children wouldnt have a mum i think this was part of what was going on with me,but i still sometimes think gosh what if i dont die and they burn or burry me alive some times the fears can just take over and change has anyone else had these fears thankyou for reading this:bighug1:

Hi you are not on your own...I worry about dying too. I have 3 kids and when i was pregnant with first got gestational diabetes and told it would go, but it didnt, 2 nd child 5 weeks prem, and 3rd child preclampsia and coliststis and had a feeling when giving birth i was being re sasutated.I only had gas and air and can remember asking my hubby is everything ok and he was looking at me saying yes but i thought he was lying.Then i could hear the ambulane sirens, and i was trying to get off bed.
Ever since then i have had panic attacks and because i had the little girl i always dreamt of, i now think something bad is gonna happen.
I am so frightened of leaving my kids and have already made hubby promise me that my best friend is to take her for wedding dress. He doesnt believe in afterlife but i have told him he has to go and colin fry for a reading!
I once said that if we died when flying i would prefer that,:weep: so my kids wouldnt be left with the hurt and sadness of me dying.My sister in law thought that was awful and I really panic what will happen to them after i die.

You are not alone....I love my kids more than words can say and i think its the feeling that you cant protect them if you were to die.

Hi, charlish74. Anxiety is never about what it seems. Its function is to distract us from what is really bothering us, as if the subconscious had ruled that some other emotion is so bad, let's do panic instead. When the emotion you are suppressing is being carried is in your chest, when you have the panic attack it can feel like what you think is a heart attack and shortness of breath. This type of anxiety attack can be about guilt and self-directed anger.

Because the emotions you need to work through are being suppressed, hidden by you from you, it is very difficult to work through them on your own. There's plenty you can be doing for yourself if you are motivated enough to be persistent with tapping and keep posting here.

Firstly, pay attention to how you speak about "my panic" - do you really want to own it? How about "this panic" or "that panic" - to distance yourself from identifying with it. It is not the sum total of who you are, although it might lead you into believing it is.

As talked before, anxiety is there to cover up some underlying emotion. But you can't go straight there. Using one of Gary's analogies, of a forest full of trees, your core issues are the biggest trees in the forest. However, if you can't get anywhere near them because of all the brambles and smaller trees, you have to do some clearing first. Work with where you are now. There's plenty of tappable issues in your post

Even though I feel guilty about losing time with my children because of this anxiety, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway

Even though I feel so angry that I have let this anxiety rule my life for so long, I deeply and completely ....

Even though I feel so jealous of other people who are living normal lives, they don't have to deal with this anxiety every day, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway

Reminder phrases: I feel guilty, I feel angry, I feel so jealous

When you've cleared yourself a little space with some of these, you may find others coming straight in to apparently fill it. Rest assured that they aren't multiplying, but you are just seeing more of the underbrush in your forest that needs to be cleared before you can tackle those big trees in the middle.

hi thankyou so much for this it really helps nowing im not alone it really does thankyou xxxxxxxxx