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Time to go public!
Firstly, hello to all and I hope you are ok,
I only found this site a few days ago while trawling the net at work after a "dodgy" day. Glad I did as it has already been very helpful and it also seems really well laid out and organised to me.
I received a welcome mail asking me to introduce myself as well as provide a bit of background of suffering / medication etc. I'll try to do this without boring you all too much. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible while giving a good picture of what has happened to me. Hopefully it might even help somebody in some small way?
What I suffer from........
About 18 months ago I was parked at the roadside on my motorbike when I was hit head on by another vehicle. I was thrown off of the bike and landed on my head / back about 15 feet away. Luckily I was physically OK (I think!) but I felt very weird at the time. I had a few pains from the impact, mostly left shoulder, arm and wrist and my head took a bit of a whack. While going to phone for a recovery vehicle I returned to find somebody had stolen what remained of the bike! I didn't really take any time off to recover as I thought I was OK but I now believe this event laid the seed of my current problems.
To cut a long story short, a few other events occured over the subsequent year or so which were also very stressful.
Last Novemeber while at work I had a dizzy spell followed by what I could only descibe as an icy feeling creeping over my head. I paniced and thought I was having a stroke. I then got pains down my left arm and in my chest and assumed it was a heart attack. I was carted off to hospital only to be told I was OK. I had no other explaination. A few days later I was out in the car and got a weird feeling that I might forget the way home. Bizarre! Next thing all of tha pains came back and I then had my first full blown panic attack which really freaked me out. I was then constantly dizzy and lost the ability to think rationally and lost all confidence. I then spiralled down until I couldn't even be bothered to eat. I then started getting a bit agrophobic. I went from hardly knowing my doctor to virtually living in the surgery.
What medication.......
I was diagnosed by a neurologist as being in an "anxiety state" and given betablockers. This helped at first but later I became worried about taking these as they made me lethargic and dizzy. I then got anxious my heart was beating too slow and would stop. I had more bad panic attacks.
What help........
1) Someone gave me a copy of Claire Week's book "Self Help For Your Nerves" which was a massive help. At first I couldn't read it but once I did things started to become clear and I felt some reassurance.
2) Referred to a therapist by GP which I was dubious about at first but which was a big help. She took me off betablockers and used CBT over a 2-3 month period.
3) Did a Stress Management course which again I was dubious about but was a massive help. As much as anything it was good to talk to other people in the same position.
4) I've had acupuncture and Chinese herbs for about 6 months now (ongoing). I always feel better after.
5) Cranial massage which has been brilliant. (Again ongoing).
6) Joined "No Panic" which I'm sure you all know about.
7) Taken alot of time off work and gone on holidays away whenever possible. Forced myself to do things socially when I could barely hold it together at first. Now it's loads easier.
8) Tried to get back into exercise although I still worry about overdoing it and dropping dead! But each time I do a run or bike or swim it gives me confidence that I must be ok. It's just getting this feeling to last that's difficult at the moment!! I still can't believe that it wasn't that long ago I used to swim every day. Now I worry if I get a chest pain at it stops me swimming.
9) Friends have been brilliant in the main.
10) This site hopefully.....
Currently, I'm loads better than 9 months ago but just when I thought I'd turned the corner I had my biggest panic attack about 2 weeks ago. It's knocked me back and I just find
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Trevor,
Welcome.
No post is ever too long when people are ready to share..
You've done very well indeed and well done for getting yourself to CBT.
**I just find it soooooo hard to lose this fear of dying of a heart attack **
Because of the chest pain or are there other associated symptoms ?
Was your last big panic attack to do with this ?
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
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Yes, it's because of the pains in chest and arm mainly. The ECG's have been OK and BP is ok. I just can't help thinking these pains can't be good for you!
The other thing is that I have my own business and there's a part of me that seems to have stuck onto this idea of people having their own business dropping down dead of overdoing it.
It probably comes from media stories of this type of thing and is probably irrational but I almost scare myself that it's the "next step" so to speak. If that doesn't sound stupid.
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No, it doesn't sound at all stupid but it is exaggerated and as you point out - fairly irrational .
Its about the power of suggestion and the power that this has over us when we're in doubt and don't know any better facts as well as having got used to watching for the worst case scenario each time.
I'm sure that your doctor and therapist have both been through the true medical explanations for these pains with you but anytime you want them reviewed or explained again just ask.
Glad you recognise that it is the media fuelling your thoughts and sterotyping you to fit their models ..
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
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Hi Trev
Welcome to the forum!
I am still quite new to the site but I have found people really helpful on here so I know you will get loads of help and support.
Take care
Helen x
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Hi Trevor
Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have been doing well to get yourself help and to get well.
I hope you find it helpfulf being here.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
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Hi Trev, welcome to the site, gosh you sound to be doing so well, I hate the chest pain in all this,
i am sure you will find it great here , there is also a chat room if you feel like joining in after 7.30pm look forward to hearing more from you, love alexis,xx
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Hi trev
I know the feeling of setbacks so well - its been about 9 months since my anxiety developed in La Paz where the shortness of breath from the altitude (4000m) lead to 4 trauma unit admissions with near collapse and chest pains - this lead to a nasty spiral down when i got home 2 months later with severe anxiety and depression - pulling slowly up since but regularly get what feel like big crashes but i have learnt to still push on gently even on the worst days - the anxiety makes you think you can't do things and your back to the beginning but you never are because are becoming an expert on your anxiety and dealing with it - notice the differences from last time however small
my experience is to walk tall - really think about your posture - it says so much to others and makes such a difference to how you feel - with practice when you feel bad it will be easyier to walk tall, sit tall and don't resort to bed until its bed time
for exercise - once you know the ecgs are ok then push on gently depite the chest pains- it will prove to you that you can survive the exercise - my view has also been that if I have a heart attack - which is highly unlikely - then it can't be worse than the constant fear that there is something wrong - and the paramedics will be with you pretty quick
effectively you exercise test (treadmill test) yourself everyday with regular exercise - which should be very reassuring - easier said than done i know but i have found that once the balance of worry to reassurance reaches a certain point then things feel so much more in control
trust yourself and your docs - walk tall exercise gently and build it up - chest pains from exercise may well be musculoskeletal - maybe get a physio to have a look or some massage
good luck - with you all the way
jos
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<center>[size=6]WELCOME[/size=6</center>]
You've came to the right place, everyone here couldn't be nicer and anymore helpful if they tried:D.
Congrats on the progress you've made[^].
Take Carexx
Claire
"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!"
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Hi Trev,
Welcome to the site you will find lots of advice and support here.
You have done so well with coping so far and you have tried so much in overcoming your problems with anxiety. You do sound like a really positive person which helps with the battle.
I used to worry about every ache and pain but now know that my pains came from being so tense all the time. Learning relaxation has helped me a lot.
Please do not worry about burn out from work, it helps to have something as a distraction, it takes your mind of things, if only for awhile.
You have come to the right place.
Take Care
Claireabell :)