lonely & fed up

Im so lonely and in danger of losing the very few friends i have, friends I have known for years are turning their backs on me instead of being supportive like i really need atm. Its partly my own fault as i let people down an awful lot by saying i will go out or meet up with them then i let them down as i cant bring myself to leave the house. I have always been open with my friends about the anxiety i suffer with and i hoped they would support me, but they are just fed up with me now. Im finding it so hard to make a better life for myself with no support. I know i am a crap friend atm but iv always tried to be understanding when my friends have problems. Its also my dream to meet a special bloke who cares for and understands me, havent dated for over 2 years, its a bit difficult when i panic everytime someone talks 2 me (on the rare occasions i go out), i look really rude & standoffish even tho i dont mean to. I dont want much out of life just a good job a happy family & a happy me, but those things seem so far out of reach atm even tho im 21 and have my whole life ahead of me, it all seems so hopeless atm.
Sorry to waffle just needed 2 let off some steam
Suzy xx

You're definitely not alone!

I was stricken with GAD, O.C.D and anxiety-related depression at the tender age of just 10! I can safely say that my childhood ended with a bang the day I had my first panic attack.

I remember I would go to school and just cry all day. My friends would ask what was wrong but I just didn't know. Imagine this kind of stress when you're entering adolesence!

As the years went on, I'd be invited to social functions by friends and would always flatly refuse. I became extremely shy, introverted and incredibly alone. I had this throughout my senior school life.

In the end, even my best friend, the person I'd known since I was six, simply abandoned me. I was too uncool and weird for his liking.

Without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I was probably the nicest, most warmest friend anyone could wish to have at that school. I'd say that's a pretty common trait amongst us anxiety sufferers.

However, it has taught me a valuable lesson.

Some friends are only your friends when it suits them. Ask yourself, do you really want friends like this?

It's like a quote I read in a chain e-mail:

A friend will pay for your bail money and get you out of jail.
A true friend will sit with you and say "Jeez, we really messed up!"

Know that you're not alone and things will get better.

You probably have an idea of the dream 'you' - the person you dearly wish to be.

This seems like an impossible dream, eh?

Wrong!

The dream 'you' is reading this text right now! The trouble is that it's being supressed by GAD, O.C.D, phobias etc. If you were to take away all these problems, you'd have the dream 'you'!

These problems are curable! It may seem like they're not but they are.

You have unimaginable potential. Never give up! Your dreams are just around the corner!

Take care,

- Luke

Suzy what sort of help have you had with this so far?????

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

Hi Suzy

Sorry you are feeling so alone and low at the moment. It is often the case that people who haven't experienced these problems are not able to understand what it is like.

Have you had any help with something like CBT therapy? You could see your doctor and ask for a referral.

The charity No Panic run a telephone CBT course that could be beneficial for you.

You are among people here who do understand what this is like.



Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

Hi hun

Am going though the exact same thing so can totally relate. Only recently I lost a friend I'd had for nearly 20 years. We went to comp together and we were very close. She's ring me every day to check how I was then suddenly nothing and she would use excuses as to why she couldn't see me. I have a 'friend' who lives locally to me who I never see anymore either...gawd knows why. Last week I was suicidal and told him and he said he'd visit but didn't. Some friend huh? Only really good friend I have lives in the States and I rarely see her. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in my entire life and I'm 31 next month. I feel like a freak of nature. I don't now why it hasn't hapenned...I've met plenty of guys I liked they just never liked me back. I don't know why...I'm friendly and people have told me I'm pretty. I've posted baut all this myslf in the misc section coz it was a bit of a rant and didn't know where else to put it if you want to read my post.

PPx