Pure o question

So today Im like totally sick over this. Ive started thinking that maybe I actually want to perform the thoughts in my head, even tho i cant bring myself to think of them b/c they make me sick, like doing them will be the only relief that i will find from this. So that means i will have to kill myself or spend the rest of my life locked away tortured with these thoughts.

Pretty depressing... huh.

(harming ppl or myself are the thoughts)

edit: Reality is i want them to be gone and be the person I was before, happy&carefree, but now i feel like i will be plagued by them forever and they are driving me mad. I feel so hopeless against this. I feel trapped inside my own stupid thoughts.

Also sometimes when I walk home sometimes I feel like i blacked out and went and did something crazy but i just cant remember, so I will watch the news and stuff to see if anything happened.

Hi, I suffer with health anxiety so not really the same as pure 'o' , but still similar in their obsessive characteristics.

The fact that you are totally freaked out by your thoughts is proof enough that you are far too 'overly' sane to carry them out.

I found this info which should be of some help:

The thoughts are just an obsession - they are just like when you meet someone you fall head over heels for, you think about and talk about that person 24/7 which is an obsession right?? so really its just the same - the only difference is that with these thoughts you would experience pleasant feelings like happiness, whereas your thoughts (harming yourself or others) make you experience anxiety / unpleasant feelings, which makes you fearful of these thoughts.

You can learn to laugh at your thoughts and see them as just anxiety playing tricks on you, this will remove your fear of them ...which in time will make them fade and eventually stop....they are all 'what if thoughts' heightened by your fear of them.

so loose the fear and the thoughts will be lost......you will never carry any of them out.....so stop worrying :)

Ive had thoughts of harming family/pets and myself... i couldnt pick up a kitchen knife without a thought of killing myself with it....
These thoughts effect you so much, because they are the complete opposite of who you are.... I couldnt harm a fly, let alone family/pets.... the thoughts are so disgusting and scary because its not in our nature....
If you were the type to harm, these thoughts wouldnt scare you, youd enjoy them...
I dont get them now, you have to let them in, rationalise them, tell them, sorry i actually dont want to hurt anyone, i dont want to die, im not interested in these thoughts, they are not who i am, and they are not true....
Remember they are just thoughts, not instructions... no one with OCD has ever acted on the thoughts...