From one every few months, to several a day

My life is in tatters at the moment.
I feel so scared and alone every single day.
I'm so anxious at the moment it's unbelievable. I have a panic attack after EVERY meal because I think i'm choking. Im so scared of it, that it drives me insane. (Im loosing weight from avoiding food aswell)
I'm having one right now sitting here, because my chests tight, my airways tight, my throats tight, and it feels so hard to breathe :(
Breathing is my main issue. Im SO scared of being suffocated by food, or bits of clothes that flick off, like wooly bits and/or fluff going up my nose and then into my airway. (Sounds so stupid) But its making my life a nightmare.
I have absolutely NO sex drive what so ever to the point I feel so harsh on my boyfriend of 21 months today (which ive only just remembered) Its become more like a friendship cus im so scared of doing anything with him incase when we kiss, like anything gets stuck in my airway. Its killing me. I love him, but cant show him.
Please tell me theres one more person out there like me? Im just thinking of giving up and ending everything. All my friends have turned on me at college, I can't dance at collega anymore (it used to be my passion) and we just got a new dance teacher so she probs thinks im just some unenthusiastic git. When im NOT.:weep:
Oh god. I can't go on anymore :weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep:

Hi,

I don't usually post here (am resident in the pregnancy anxiety forum). But I came online and saw this and just wanted to say something.

I have had times recently where every moment was sheer terror. I had weeks where I was convinced every moment I was going to die, and that there was no way out. I know how you feel. It can just seem overwhelming.

But you have to go on. There are people who love you, and you have a wonderful life waiting for you. You can get back to it. This is going to get better. It is going to pass.

Try to remember that it is the panic that is trapping you, and the panic isn't real. You aren't going to choke. You are completely safe. The anxiety is making you afraid of things that aren't real. We've all been there.

Please talk to someone - call the Samaritans, or your boyfriend, or someone you trust. If you haven't, go and see your GP and be completely honest. I have recently started CBT and this has really helped. I don't know if you are getting help right now, but whatever you are getting there is more out there. Ask for more; you have a right to it.

I work in education, and there are more people out there who understand anxiety than you might think. Talk to someone - they can talk to your dance teacher and help you to get through this.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. Keep going. You are ok.

Hi katie

I agree with what Genie said. I know you are feeling desperate but dont give up on yourself and stop trying to deal with this on your own, there is no shame in asking for help, we have all had to share our fears despite how unreal they seem. Please dont be alone with your thoughts as Genie suggested you can ring the Samaritans its completely confidential and they will give you the support you need at the moment.
Be safe hun.

Love Christine xxx

Katie, I feel for you .... anxiety is a horrid condition as we all know (well, those of us on here). Genie is right, you MUST talk to someone and be totally honest and tell them exactly how you are feeling. You are not alone, there are people out there (and on this site too) who can and will help you on the road to recovery. I am having CBT at the moment and was able to self-refer myself for this. It may be possible in your area too. Tomorrow morning phone your surgery and make an appointment to see your GP .... insist that you must see a doctor that day, and tell him/her everything. The sooner you talk about your problems the sooner you will be on the mend. You will be fine!!!!! and you can look forward to enjoying life again. Take care xxx

Hi Katie. I don't have a fear of choking, but I do have a fear of being sick. So it's something similar. At the beginning of the year I more or less stopped eating as every time I swallowed I would get a panic attack. I would spend all day trying to eat something as small as a biscuit because I knew I had to eat something, otherwise I would be ill!
This went on for months and like you I pushed my husband away. We had only just got married, so it was an awful time to do it to him. I dropped down to under 7stone in weight and felt awful all the time. Every waking moment I was obsessed with food making me anxious.
There is light at the end of the tunnel though! I saw a CBT therapist and swapped to Seroxat. Because of a combination of both of those things and the support of my husband I slowly started to eat again. I've now put on all the weight I lost.

Go and speak to your GP and tell them how hard it is becoming. If the GP isn't sympathetic find another GP who is.

You can get past this, but it will take baby steps :)

Hi Katie
please get help although you can see no end to it things will get better as stated the is no shame in your illness it doesnt matter what anyone thinks you are ill and need help,please speak to your gp asap,take care and hang in their people do care about you x:hugs: