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Thread: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    151

    Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    I have posted but don’t get a lot of replies which is okay. Not complaining. I’m in a very bad place and am trying to reach out for help and or advice on what to do.

    I’m spiraling into very extreme darkness. It’s getting harder to go on feeling so alone and so scared. I’m on meds and in CBT but I guess I’m having a relapse.

    I had a sore throat few days ago with severe acid reflux. I mean every time I would swallow or would feel like a lump going up and down. I started Prilosec and am on that. Yesterday I started with weird pain when I take a deep breath. This pain appears in my back right behind my sternum (but in my back). I
    Made the stupid choice of googling and every article I came to has said I’m a candidate for lung cancer. Female, never smoked, young at 43. According to
    Statistics this is on the rise. This article on very well health has spiraled
    Me down the rabbit hole. I mean I just don’t know what to do at this point. The pain and anguish and fear that I must immediately get an MRI is scaring me. I can’t eat. I’m withdrawing. My family thinks I’m crazy but most of all I’m terrified. I’ve never heard of GERD being in your back when taking deep breaths. I guess I’m just reaching out for some help or even encouraging words. I am distraught so figured I would try to help get some logic from anyone who is so kind enough to give it to me. I know none of us are doctors.

    Not sure how much longer I can deal with this emotional suffering.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    231

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scaredtoo View Post
    I have posted but don’t get a lot of replies which is okay. Not complaining. I’m in a very bad place and am trying to reach out for help and or advice on what to do.

    I’m spiraling into very extreme darkness. It’s getting harder to go on feeling so alone and so scared. I’m on meds and in CBT but I guess I’m having a relapse.

    I had a sore throat few days ago with severe acid reflux. I mean every time I would swallow or would feel like a lump going up and down. I started Prilosec and am on that. Yesterday I started with weird pain when I take a deep breath. This pain appears in my back right behind my sternum (but in my back). I
    Made the stupid choice of googling and every article I came to has said I’m a candidate for lung cancer. Female, never smoked, young at 43. According to
    Statistics this is on the rise. This article on very well health has spiraled
    Me down the rabbit hole. I mean I just don’t know what to do at this point. The pain and anguish and fear that I must immediately get an MRI is scaring me. I can’t eat. I’m withdrawing. My family thinks I’m crazy but most of all I’m terrified. I’ve never heard of GERD being in your back when taking deep breaths. I guess I’m just reaching out for some help or even encouraging words. I am distraught so figured I would try to help get some logic from anyone who is so kind enough to give it to me. I know none of us are doctors.

    Not sure how much longer I can deal with this emotional suffering.
    While I can’t say its impossible - I don’t agree that you are a candidate for lung cancer from what youve said at all. Risk factors for lung cancer are predominantly smoking, exposure to high levels of toxins in the workplace i.e asbestos or radioactive products or family history etc. Your symptoms also dont scream lung origin to me either. Have you spoke to your doctor about your symptoms? What do they suggest?
    __________________
    "Make your choice adventurous stranger, strike the bell and bide the danger,
    or wonder till it drives you mad, what would have followed if you had"

    - C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew

  3. #3

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    Your chances of having lung cancer are so, so minuscule. Not large enough to even be worth thinking about! You mentioned you had a sore throat, so perhaps the pain is connected to a cold. Or it could certainly be GERD related - I’d ask a doctor about it, because it’s likely easily treatable. And, as my doctor always says, there’s no point in worrying about something that’s only been there a day. Anything serious would stick around, continually getting worse. Something that’s only been there one day is no cause for concern besides it being uncomfortable.

    I so hope you feel better soon. I know exactly what you mean, this disorder is so painful and emotionally exhausting, and I’ve had those exact feelings of “I don’t know how much longer I can do this” many many times. But there are so many people who have been through it and improved, and whose lives aren’t dictated by anxiety any more. And you’ll be there one day as well, I promise. If those feelings are manifesting into a desire to do anything dangerous to your wellbeing, make sure you tell your gp or therapist! You deserve to feel better, and to have a happy life. I sincerely hope things get easier soon, and until then us on this site are here to support in the small way we can! x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    4,889

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    I used to get stabbing pains when breathing when I had really bad reflux, pretty much exactly as you describe.

    If I were to make an observation, it would be this. If you can't go on like this any more, stop Googling. You are experiencing a pain which is common with reflux, and you've Googled and are driving yourself mad convincing yourself you have something that is statistically massively unlikely.

    The problem is you googling.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    151

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    I used to get stabbing pains when breathing when I had really bad reflux, pretty much exactly as you describe.

    If I were to make an observation, it would be this. If you can't go on like this any more, stop Googling. You are experiencing a pain which is common with reflux, and you've Googled and are driving yourself mad convincing yourself you have something that is statistically massively unlikely.

    The problem is you googling.
    Omg yes. That’s so true. Sometimes hearing it reinforces it better. Good advice. Thank you

    ---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 17:27 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by heylumos View Post
    Your chances of having lung cancer are so, so minuscule. Not large enough to even be worth thinking about! You mentioned you had a sore throat, so perhaps the pain is connected to a cold. Or it could certainly be GERD related - I’d ask a doctor about it, because it’s likely easily treatable. And, as my doctor always says, there’s no point in worrying about something that’s only been there a day. Anything serious would stick around, continually getting worse. Something that’s only been there one day is no cause for concern besides it being uncomfortable.

    I so hope you feel better soon. I know exactly what you mean, this disorder is so painful and emotionally exhausting, and I’ve had those exact feelings of “I don’t know how much longer I can do this” many many times. But there are so many people who have been through it and improved, and whose lives aren’t dictated by anxiety any more. And you’ll be there one day as well, I promise. If those feelings are manifesting into a desire to do anything dangerous to your wellbeing, make sure you tell your gp or therapist! You deserve to feel better, and to have a happy life. I sincerely hope things get easier soon, and until then us on this site are here to support in the small way we can! x
    Thank you for your kindness and support. It may seem like a small gesture but it made me cry to hear such kindness. Bless you

    ---------- Post added at 17:30 ---------- Previous post was at 17:28 ----------

    I have an appt with my gastro on Tuesday (tomorrow). Will update them

  6. #6

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    I'm going through the exact same anxiety right now with a different ailment. I can't tell you not to worry, because that's what we do. As an outsider, I can tell you from reading your post that there is NOTHING in your description that sounds even remotely ominous. And I have a WebMD/Google degree, so trust me. It sounds like acid reflux, maybe even some allergy stuff thrown in there. You're going to get good news at the doctor's tomorrow. I know nothing I can say will make it better, but physically you'll be fine. Wish I could help more.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    151

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    I have an endoscopy tomorrow! Sedation included.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    612

    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scaredtoo View Post
    I have an endoscopy tomorrow! Sedation included.
    Good luck, I am sure you will hear the good news. And just so you know, acid reflux can absolutely cause discomfort in the back.
    __________________
    To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.

    Margaret Thatcher

  9. #9
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    Re: Not sure if I can go on like this anymore.

    Thank you all. Will report back

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