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Thread: Can you really get over depression

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    53

    Can you really get over depression

    I just dont know if you can ever get over it and be your 'normal' self again.

    I used to be a really strong, confident person, I had my son at 19 and was a great mum, got married and decided to try for another baby, it took a while to get pregnant and we both wanted it so much, I got pregnant and had a horrible pregnancy, felt constantly depressed was in a lot of pain etc, had my daughter and when she was 2 weeks old I cried and didn't stop for the next few years on and off. I went backwards and forwards to the Drs with all sorts of things wrong with me and no one picked up that I had anxiety or depression, when my daughter was 11 months old I had had enough, I had screamed at my husband that I just wanted to die, that my children deserved better than me and at that point I knew I had to talk to someone, I went to see a Dr and everything came flooding out, The Dr was great and put me on antid's, talked to me etc etc after 6 months I felt great, came off the antids and lived a pretty 'normal' life with a few ups and downs.

    Then all of a sudden my grandad gets diagnosed with Lung cancer and my husbands nan gets diagnosed with lung cancer too, they both ended up in the same hospice and died with in 3 months of each other, I don't know if this is what caused my anxiety/depression to come back but I got knocked off my feet big time, I managed to cope for a few months until things got to bad that I couldn't even come out of my bedroom without freaking out, this was about 6 months ago, a Dr came out to me and put me back on antids, my periods play a big part in my anxiety/depression and when I am due on I get really bad, so I have been put on the contraceptive pill and the antids but I don't feel as though I am getting anywhere.

    I feel as though I am constantly fighting, its is so bad that I want to feel 'normal' again, like me and be the mum that I always wanted to be, I want to be the best mum I can, the best wife I can but while I am not in control of myself and my moods how do I carry on fighting.

    I am back to the Dr on thursday, a Dr I have never heard of but the only Dr available so I will have to go over everything again, all I want is to feel better, not to have to force myself to do everything, not to want to rush off to bed because I can sleep there and get away from reality.

    I want to beat this I really do and I will eventually I just don't know how, I have taken myself off the contraceptive pill as I have bled constantly for 2½ months and its not helping, all I want to know is, Can you really ever beat this? Will I ever be 'normal' again?

    Sorry I didn't want to give my life story, so have tried to keep this as short as I can, I have lots of other issues to deal with and am on the waiting list to have CBT which I am hoping will help.

    Thanks if anyone has managed to read this.

    Carrie

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,489

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    hi carrie, dont worry about giving your life story - thats what were here for - to listen and support each other!!

    im not saying your situation is anything like mine, because we are all different even if we do suffer anxiety/panic/depression, but i picked up on 2 things that i do relate to 1 - you want to be the best mum you can be, and the best wife you can be, and you want to be in control? this sort of thinking could be causing some problems, not to mention that you are probably giving too much and not making time for yourself? and 2 - you have probs with your hormones/periods, me too, and its really p***ing me off at the moment coz ill make great progress only to go back to the quivering wreck for the 2 weeks before my period- i have never had any understanding of it from my doctors, because they know as soon as they look at my history, that im chronically anxious - well some years i am - so they link it to that straight away. so ive had to try alternative routes like supplements and diet and exercise, but im starting to get soooo fed up with it!

    so keep posting and asking for support and im sure youll start to feel better, also to your question - yes you can get rid of depression, but you also have to work on that too! it can sometimes feel like a never ending struggle cant it?! keep going and you will get there, we all do eventually but it takes time, take care emma

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    401

    Re: Can you really get over depression



    Hi mumto2,
    I am so sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment.
    i can empathise with everything you say. I have suffered from depression on and off since I was 19 (am now 51), and have had cbt, counselling and am at the moment seeing a psychiatrist. Everyone I have seen has picked up the same thing, that my expectations of myself are too high, and that I am trying to be a perfectionist, and when I cant achieve that i beat myself up. in your post you said that you wanted to be the best mother and wife you can be, but are you expecting too much of yourself?
    I hope that you begin to recover soon. perhaps you should ask your GP for some talking therapy, Anti d's take the edge off depression but it isnt addressing the real problem.

    TC

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1,781

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    HI Carrie,

    Keep believing in yourself.
    Keep fighting for yourself.

    One day you will look back and realise that you are a stronger,healthier person because of what you have come through.
    Best wishes,
    Chalky

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    2,419

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    Hello Carrie

    I'm sure life circumstances have a lot of bearing on depression and anxiety.
    And you have had plenty of life circumstances.

    I'm with Bearcrazy - setting unattainable goals for ourseleves only really leads to us feeling we have failed in some way.

    Try focusing on tackling one thing at a time - say, getting your periods sorted out for starters (dang things they are!) . If you're suffering physically then that is bound to reduce your ability to cope with other stuff.

    Build your strength up, and then decide to tackle the next thing.....and hopefully before you know it you'll be well on the way tackling them all.

    And, don't forget to make the most of your successes - no matter how small or insignificant they may seem to you. And if you find that difficult then post them here and we'll do it!

    Understand that you haven't asked for this - and you will find a way to cope and get better.

    Go easy on yourself ok?

    big hugs for you


    __________________
    ...Nothing takes the past away like the future...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    53

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    Thanks everyone for replying.

    I do tend to expect a lot from myself and I do feel like a failure, since reading the replies I have tried a little less harder and it seems to be working, I get really stressed out if things are not where they should be, if the house gets in a mess (Which of course it does with 2 children) then I get so worked up about it and can't deal with.

    So I am trying to take little steps at a time and just realise that things will not always be what I want them to be, it is helping.

    As for my periods the Dr wants me to think about have the Mirena coil fitted as that may stop my periods but i'm not sure about it, my husband had the snip so its not for contraception, just for my periods and moods, I just don't know how best to deal with it but I am going to try my best to find a way.

    Thanks again
    Carrie

  7. #7

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    Hi All

  8. #8

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    Hi All

    This is my first post so please bare with me , Im 28 year old male who didnt have a bad childhood has a loving family and partner and son. When i was younger i smoked cannabis and did take the occasional other substance (im only telling you this so you now my situation).
    From the age of about 26 i felt different but told myself that i cant be depressed i run a pub for 8 years in a family buisness an people around me thought i was such a confident person but every so often i would feel realy down and have a feel of guilt over things and worry all the time over the last 2 years it started to become worse. i would have days were i was on a high then days were i would be totaly low and have to talk my waY through things i would be doing to get on and not having the power to sort myself out,, this was going on for the last 2 years i would be tired all the time and very short tempered and annoyed over stupid things then afterwards when i was told what i had said and done some of it i just couldnt remember i decided that the job was one of the reasons i was having these lows and dealing with the public when your feeling like that isnt nice i would sit in the office and work my way up to going out i no longer could deal with pressure as well as i used to and could not hold a conversation and didnt want to talk to people . i would also get the feeling o not being able to cope with life in general paniking that i wouldnt be able to look after my son and will i be able to cope if my parents passed away just worried about everything and felt nervous all the time one thing i did was felt like i couldnt do my job and that people thought that also but this wasnt the case i decided to speak to my parents and my father informed me that he also was on citraplan and has been since he was yonug due to a chemical in balane in the brain so i decided to go and see my gp and he put me on citraplan 20 mg which i took for a month and started to feel better and people were saying i was easier to talk to and more pleasent so i made the fatal mistake of packing them in and not long after it all started again . so i have since gone back on them and for the past 6 weeks i have felt my normal self again .

    Sorry for mumbling on just wanted to write the way i felt and was it depression i was feeling ??

    Darran.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    336

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    Hi Carrie,
    Sorry you're having a rough time.
    Have you seen a gynaecologist about your periods? If not then ask your gp to refer you.They know a lot more than gps.I had a mirena coil fitted because of constant spotting.I also had a camera up there to rule out anything serious. After having the mirena coil fitted I didnt have a period for the whole 5 years and when it was removed my periods had stopped due to menopause.

    I'm like you at times regarding housework.There is a thread going on the misc
    section about tips on housework.Why not take a look and join in?


    I think you've got so much going on you dont know if you're coming or going.Thats what I was like too until I started taking citalopram 6 months ago.Try and snatch half an hour for yourself and relax,we're not in a race even though it feels that way.You take care now.
    __________________
    Whatever happens I'll handle it !

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    33

    Re: Can you really get over depression

    My depression has come and gone over the years. Has come back in a big way along with anxiety because i'm getting married and moving in a couple of weeks. So it seems to me it may lay dormant but whena big life event occurs then out comes all the 'warnings' and you then are left with all the emotional pain.

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