What have you done today to make you feel proud??

[pulisa]

That's remarkable that social services actually stepped in and did something! It must seem very strange her not being there despite the workload it caused but maybe these things happen for a reason and everyone's quality of life will be better now? She's only 5 mins away and you can visit easily and for as little or as long as you want. It must have been very hard having her at home whilst grieving for your own mum-I'm not sure I could have stood that. All credit to you for having her there for as long as you did

[fishman65]

I'm the same about my dad's death, Buster. I feel responsible although it was down to negligence by the care home. I'll be the first to help any person in distress but as you say, it doesn't take away the guilt from what I could have done for the person I owed the most..

Fishman, sorry for the confusion. It wouldn't surprise me if I am on the spectrum too but every psych I've seen has said no. It would make it easier for me to accept myself if I were to be given an official diagnosis but I think that I've just got so used to coping with autism that I've adopted that way of thinking too. I didn't realise that you had got family members with autism-I hope they are not too badly affected.

My mistake Pulisa, though ultimately labels don't really help us anyway do they. Crikey you do really well, having anxiety AND a family member being autistic. My nephew is 29 now and in a residential home, he became too big and strong for my sister and her hubby to deal with. However the home is surrounded by woodland which my nephew adores, he loves turning over logs etc to find slugs and worms.

Two of my grandsons aged 10 and 7 are on the autistic spectrum. The 10 year old also has ADHD and anxiety. He has an obsession with timing and food in that it has to be the same food every day. I often wonder, is autism more prevalent these days or is it simply that people who were 'different' were shut away from the public? The latter I suspect.

Aquilegia, I've done some floating today as well. Though I still managed a 30% water change on the fish tank. Well done to everyone for their achievements in the face of adversity

[Carnation]

Yes Pulisa, it was! If I am honest, there was some resentment that it was not my mum I was continuing to look after, although I kept that to myself. Even on my mum's funeral day, I was cooking her dinner. And I never had that 'me' time to grieve.
Mr C was never going to quit as her carer, so the decision was made for us.
Although after nearly 8 years, it takes some getting used to.
I am not a fan of Social Services, but as you say, they seemed to have acted very quickly Once Mr C's mum could no longer walk or stand, it meant far more work for us. x

[Buster70]

Carnation it's got to be for the best in the long run you can only do so much and I know you have been struggling for long time , you have to live and look after yourself as well but it's always the bloody guilt that stops you , do you think these people who have no conscience are any happier than us ?
AQ you pretty much described a lot of my dog walks if you added the feeling of suffocating but dogs need walking well one of mine is old so she hides now it's cold , there was a time I would have stopped going out altogether if it hadn't been for the dogs , well done on sticking with it and sticking two fingers up to the anxiety .
Not much to be proud of today exept getting through another day feeling rubbish .
Take care

[fishman65]

Buster, that last line is a reason to be proud

[pulisa]

Yes it certainly is. I am so grateful I have no option but to just get on with it.

[Carnation]

Thanks Buster.
It's sometimes the caring for someone or something that keeps you going!

[pulisa]

It certainly is for me.

[pulisa]

I don't feel proud but I do feel a sense of small achievement in the fact that my daughter's GP has referred her for an urgent psychiatric assessment at the local special needs unit. Things have got very bad for her and I feel that I haven't helped her as I should have done. I said things today which were very painful but completely true. I just hope there is a relatively quick response but the reality is that there won't be At least I have done something to get the ball rolling again..It just isn't fair that the options for her with a lifelong disability are severely limited whereas it's so much easier to access mainstream support for a mild to moderate issue which doesn't interfere with everyday life.

[Buster70]

I don't feel proud but I do feel a sense of small achievement in the fact that my daughter's GP has referred her for an urgent psychiatric assessment at the local special needs unit. Things have got very bad for her and I feel that I haven't helped her as I should have done. I said things today which were very painful but completely true. I just hope there is a relatively quick response but the reality is that there won't be At least I have done something to get the ball rolling again..It just isn't fair that the options for her with a lifelong disability are severely limited whereas it's so much easier to access mainstream support for a mild to moderate issue which doesn't interfere with everyday life.

What would we have to do to really feel proud ? You have and do sacrifice your own mental wellbeing for your loved ones as do so many on here yet we still don't feel we deserve to feel proud , we really are a messed up bunch , I know how tough it is to try and get help for another adult it tried to intervene in my partners health care she would not be chuffed to say the least , there are days when you just want to walk out and keep walking but none of us have so we should be proud
Today started as usual felt awful , walked dogs through sludge , went out on van and on the stereo was Madness , Grey day , if you've heard this song it's my theme tune , so instead of carrying on that way I flicked to another song , I chose a bit of a cheesy one but very uplifting, Slade ,C'mon feel the noise , very loud singing badly in my cocoon, set me up for few hours work in my non heated workshop had to break the ice to wash my hands but work is good for the soul and clean fingernails don't look right on me .