Existential ocd anyone?

[mck]

Hello everyone
I have been struggling lately with this existential thing.
Its like the big questions about life and they really scare me for some reason.
It's like how did the universe get here?
am i really here?
What if everyones just a figment of my imagination?
Why am i me?
all stuff like that really, has anyone been through the same sort of thing?

[dan1991]

yes! it's so much fun isn't it... NOT -.-

the other day i was laying in the bath and all of a sudden i looked at my body and started freaking out.. how did i get in my body? why am i in this body? feeling trapped in my own skin....

just another symptom to anxiety i guess.

[Whitetrash]

Yup its not much fun...

I went though a stage of worrying about why i wasnt worrying, then panic set in because i realised my whole existance was futile and i was probably dreaming everything anyway

[bell23]

Mate, i have had these from time to time it is a scary thought but its the anxious state you are already in which causes the reaction.

You will get over it trust me!

[PanchoGoz]

I am trying mindfullness for this. Living in the moment. I'm starting to appreciate how nice it feels to be alive and on the ground, you forgeet or rather accept your existenciality.

[Carys]

Yes !!! Absolutely !!! This is the first time though I've read about someone else describing what went through my mind when I was much younger. It used to cause me considerable stress and anxiety, from my teenage years onwards, those 'questions that I could not answer'. Many years later, through life experiences and searching for answers, it does not make me feel quite the same way; I have formed an acceptance that I won't ever be able to explain things. It is a really uncomfortable feeling though and you can feel a rising panic when you feel you don't understand and can't explain the big mysteries of life. Fear of the big 'unanswerable questions' has been part of mankinds background history forever, so you aren't alone, but I think you might find as time goes on it becomes a bit easier to deal with. I get slight reminders of those thoughts very rarely, now and again, and like someone else above, think about the pointlessness of existence.

[xhyperyogix]

didn't real;ise it was called ocd, but anyway, yeah totally get it. i was trying to explain to my counsellor today about how my body is odd when i look at it feels odd how it is there and how it is attached to me, and looking at my arm too long freaks me out, and like i'm in control of this really quite big (relatively, 5 foot 2 and not even 8 stone, but you get my point) tjis attached to my brain.....

urrgghh had a terrible session though,

sorry hope it helps knowing someone else is freaking out about this even if i have no answers for you xxx

[PanchoGoz]

All these phobias of existensial subects, awareness of you body like Hyper has said, realisations of the universe, Your mind will search for more and more things to worry about. If there is nothing terrible happening to you, your mind will turn to everyday things like the sensations of your body, the universe...your mind must always have something to think about. We are not creating a good enough outlet for our energies. If you are a painter and don't question and find ways to paint better through your painting, your mind gets bored and turns to the most basic thing, existance. It is the ultimate fear, nobody understands the terror of realising your mortality and insignificance in the universe. However much you question, you will not suddenly drop dead, or blow your mind, yes, as much as you question you just keep on living and time goes at the same speed. Its a funny onld thing. An actor can go " I'm in a film!" and yet the film keps going. All he can do is just keep acting. You will all eventually come to the conclusion that life is worth living and that to sit and contemplate is wasting your time and I know I sound naive and as if I don't know how biting that terror is when you come back to those terrifying thoughts but I have been there and I am in fact there right now but I am coming to a realisation and you will one day too. For now you must smile when you have these terrifying thoughts and say "I know! Isn't life amazing! But why should I be scared of it? There's no need. I should be scared of tigers, not my own existance." You will get to a point where you think why did I ever feel scared about such a thing. Hyper will think why did I ever feel out of place in my own body?
Why did I write all that I really need the toilet now, gotta go.
This is part of your run of fears guys. It wil pass like the rest of them.

I didn't read through that myself apologies for any bad grammar.

[xhyperyogix]

sometimes i do feel 'in place' - good description. i usually use the words connected to myself , or my mind and body have separated. pancho, you're right about having other thigns to worry about. the only way i ever feel connected is to do lots and lots of either high level acrobatics or yoga, or dancing in a club like mad for 7 hours striaght. done all of those in the last week. if i don't then, i disconnect, or go hyper, or get so down i think life isn't worth it. what a mad mess eh! in between these, i sometimes have bits of 'normal' where with clarity i can think, what the hell am I doing, what's with this stuff? my counsellor however wants me to 'experience' the feelings , e.g anger, fear, sadness, and then connect them to me. i find it totally impossible. it just flings me into another flippin reality. sometimes they are good places, often bad....

anyway, i think the meaning of life is over-rated.. (well actually the monty python film is quite funny....)

hyper xxx

[akira]

I've had this a lot in the past, especially when I was younger. I've found that the less I have to occupy my mind the worse it is. Thankfully I'm not short of things to occupy me at the moment.