to go or not to go - that is the question

[janie]

Hi guys

I have a problem (ha ha). My husband and 4 kids are really looking forward to a weekend in the new caravan with friends in the lakes. We have been on numerous camping trips pre-anxiety and they are great fun. Lots of games, drink and merriment. However, this time I don't feel safe. Anxiety is new to me and I feel very vulnerable - the thought of being stuck in the middle of a field when I think I'm having a heart attack is making me even more anxious.

But then so is the thought of letting my family down, who have been really supportive and also need a bit of light relief. Also because of medication can only have very small amount of alcohol - everyone else will be "on it"!!!

Also fears of needing hospital treatment and nobody in fit state to drive me there. Silly I know but is there a compromise? I know we are told to do different things, and stick to pre-arranged plans - don't let the anxiety get the better of you and stop you doing what you want to do etc. BUT we are also to be kind to ourselves and listen to our inner thoughts - do what is comfortable - HELP???? xx

[bobsy]

I know exactly how you feel

Always looking for "what ifs".

How I look at it is you are safe whereever you go not just home so think yourself safe in your caravan its just an extension of your home. What if you do go and you dont panic you will be so proud of yourself.

Remember you bring it on so you can take it away.

have you got msn if so pm it to me and we'll have a chat.

bobsy

[jackie]

oh janie i know this is hard and everyone does this differently, but i would go.

i hope you find the answers somewhere and i know it is not my place to tell you what to do. i know it may not be much fun but you have to decide which is worse, going and facing these uncertainties , or staying and dissapointing the family

either way, please remember that the problem is not with your heart but your mind

jackie

[janie]

Thanks jackie and bobsy (I haven't got msn bobsy - shame I would like a chat).

Yes it is very difficult - where's the old me gone? I would have jumped at the chance a few months ago. All our friends will be there - good, kind people. I feel like if I go I need to stand up a la AA and announce I have a problem so that everyone is aware but then I don't want to be fawned over. Anxiety is difficult to explain - I went camping when I had a badly broken leg but that's tangible isn't it. Everyone can see it and they make compensation for it. When I talk about my anxiety I feel like I have to launch into a huge explanation and quote passages out of Clare Weekes - in fact I might take my book and pass it around the campfire!! How much fun am I???

Thanks as always for everyones support - its truly invaluable. xxx

[carlin]

Hi there, how awful is this anxiety eh? Now, firstly explain to your friends what the problem is, they will put your mind at rest, secondly take a mobile, just to put your mind at rest, you will not need an ambulance, but if it re-assures you? Make the caravan your new safety home, take all the little things you like near to you, I can promise, you will be fine, if not a little anxious, you will have so much distraction going on around you, your mind will be occupied. Yes, your family do deserve a break, but so do you!!!! enjoy, and please let us know how you get on and then you can give others advice. take care.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Janie,

Sounds like fun your trip away, if i was you i wouldnt worry about it (easier said than done) and go and have a good time!
I went on holiday to cornwall last year and was dreading going away from home, Have you got a Mobile Phone? i take my mobile phone with me now where ever i go, it gives me peace of mind that i can contact someone if need be, i have NEVER had to contact anyone in a emergency, it just gives me peace of mind that its there if i need it.

Love Andrea
xxx

[marie ross]

Hi Janie,

GO GO GO!!!!!!! I know its easy to say, but i had exactly the same problems as you, did'nt want to got to devon because i thought i might die of a heart attack on the way there, at the holiday park, on the way back. But i got there and i had such a brilliant time and all the time i was away did'nt suffer any anxiety one bit (should go and live there, i wish!!!!) I have two young children who were looking forwards to it so much, i made myself do it and it was worth it. As for everyone else drinking, just think you'll be the one with the clear head in the morning, not walking around groaning "never again"!!!!!

Really hope you do it, let us all know how you got on.

Take care

Marie XXX

[jill]

Hi Janie

We all have our different oppinion and mine is GO FOR IT.
NEVER stop doing the things you have awlays done and enjoyed. Mr anxiety would love that.

Yes you do have to be kind to yourself, you are going somwhere where you have always had fun, is this not being kind to yourself [?]

Yes, we must listen to our inner thoughts, but sometimes Mrs anxiety is there too. She tells us where not safe, when we really are.

Anxeity can happen anytime, anyplace anywhere, DON'T put a label on the holiday, anxiety may not happen.

**do what is comfortable** where you not comfortable on other holidays [?] Yes you was and you a WILL be again.

I know its dame hard Janie, but give it a go, you have nothing to loose and alot to gain when you are having lots of fun.

Not sure if I have been of any help.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[janie]

Thanks everyone.......... I've decided I will go and take mr and mrs anxiety with me if they want to come. They won't be given much room round the campfire, unless of course they want to sit on the fire! My family deserve this and so do I! Everybody's comments have given me the strength to do what I knew I should do anyway - thanks for the reassurance. xx

[jackie]

word of advice, bring the claire weekes book. not only will it offer comfort in times of fear but i bet youll be surprised how many of the women around the campfire will relate to it

jackie

well done you