am i losing the plot

[womble]

Hi - I am a bit scared to even write about this but does anyone else live like this? I have been agorophobic for the last sixteen years but lately I feel like a switch is going to flick and I am going to go completely barmy and loony!! I say things to myself lik e' if I can't get hold of my partner on the phone then I will go crazy' etc.. Is it just that I cannot cope with living like this anymore. Please tell me I am not the only one who fears being locked up and having a nervous breakdown.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Womble

Welcome to the message forum. You will get loads of help and support here.

You are not going mad trust me and you are certainly not alone in this. Are you on any meds? Can you get out to get some form of counselling?

There are quite a few agoraphobics on here so I am sure you will get some great advice from them too.

You did the right thing to post and you will soon see what a caring community we have here, so please keep popping back to see us.

Nicola

[womble]

Thanks Nicola

I am way too scared to take any medications despite my GP telling me I need them. It just seems that after 16 years like this I cannot go any more. If I wasn't so afraid that death would be like one great big panic attack I am sure I would not be here any more. My daughter , partner and family keep me going but I am desperate now. I am supposed to be getting married at the end of the year but seeing s I have an obsession with keeping my car keys on me, I am not sure where I can stuff them wearing a wedding dress! I have aholiday booked, the first for many years, in AUgust. It's only 100 miles away but i Just don't know how I am going to get there. Tried counselling, many therapies but I really need some courage like in the WIzard of Oz. Anyone got an idea where you get that?

[imported_n/a]

hiya mate,,hey i know exactly where your comeing from i have had a degree of agraphobia for the last couple of years due to avoiding panic attacks,,and i am scared of most things,,i stopped drinking,,stopped dinking tea,coffee,stopped lots of things due to being scared{anxious},i also was telling myself yor gonna have a breakdown and got very very scared of that but now have somehow regained some confidence in myself to stop these thoughts, but still have agraphobia,,i have been on the site now for 2 weeks and has helped me so much,hope ,we can do the same for you ,,welcome,,xxdarrenxx,

[womble]

Thanks Darren - I thought i was a bit extra crazy. I cannot drink alcohol, tea or coffee, cannot be without my car at all. So much co that if my car needs work I have to hire a second car. Agorophobia is costing me a small fortune. I could have paid off Africa's third world debt with all the money I have spent on various therapy. Do I just have to go out and face it - God forbid. Could still do with that shor of courage though.

Thanks Darren - you are very kind

[april tones]

hi womble, i have post natal deppression and struggled for six months untill i couldnt cope any more and was crying for help. I too was scared of taking meds and alot of other stuff like chicken etc. I went to docs and explained every thing and ended up taking meds as i wanted to feel better, i was glad i did as i feel im getting my life back, i feel happier, not tearful all the time or anxious, i know meds are not the answer all the time but some times i think you need them as its chemical imbalance in brain and it wont get better without meds, thats my opinion any way, im glad i took them in the end, take care, love april

apriltones

[stimpy]

Hi Womble - to quote one of my famous poems ..

quote:I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know I look fine and you can't tell
Stay awhile and then you'll see
A person who really isn’t me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little scared
I just wish that someone cared.
All I can do is think of me
and how I used to be.

You are not the only person who fears being locked away because they are having a nervous breakdown. - Because I feel like that too and the truth is, so has everyone on this forum at one time or another.

Courage comes from within, somewhere.
Where that somewhere is, I am not sure.
I think it is something we learn, little steps at a time.
Medication is not the be all and end all, but it can help.

After a bad reaction from my first batch of medication, I was terrified to take anymore. So I was given medication I had used for 7 years with no problems at all. But because of the batch of new meds, just the thought of taking any meds at all was freaking me out and it took a lot of inner courage for me to take my meds.

Just remember you are not alone.



Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[womble]

Thank you all so much - it is a big relief to know that i am not alone in feeling like this. I just cannot take any meds though. I have started taking St Johns Wort though and don't seem to have any side effects so I shall stick with this and see. I am also seeing a hypnotherapist - again. It just seems like sometimes I should give up and just accept the way I am. Accept I will never go anywhere or do anything with my life. You all sound so brave and willing to try to keep pushing but I have no energy left anymore.

How do you motivate yourself to push further and attempt to face the fear of panic?

[uryjm]

Womble
Sorry you're feeling so bad. Originally I wrote a big reply to you, offering loads of solutions (typical male!) but in the end the solution lies within ourselves - and I know it's a struggle to find it! So I'd just like to reassure you that your feelings of imminent breakdown are really, really common for us anxiety sufferers and I don't think any of us have been driven to this despite the fear we will be (and I'd also like to bet that we've all thought "Well, maybe I'll be the first to have a panic attack and breakdown", too!) One thing I'd like to say is that when you do reach what you feel is the bottom, that you really can't go on, that this is the point where you'll turn 'round and start finding the solutions that will work for you. As you say, what's the alternative? Accept that you will never go anywhere and do anything with your life? I don't think you're the kind of person willing to settle for that - none of us on this forum are. So good luck and keep posting.

Jim

[womble]

Jim - you don't know how much that meant to me. Maybe the only way is up after all. I do feel like something drastic is going to happen but maybe instead of feeling like it is a bad thing maybe I should try and see it as a positive one and that the change could be good.

Why is is so hard ot feel positive though - I have been like this of more of my life than not and it seems like to be scared has become part of my personality. I remember running round parks and walking to school and getting lost put playing and I never ever felt scared. Now I am obsessed with every detail of my health - constantly monitoring whether I am feeling dizzy or not ( this is my main symptom fear).

Have you all felt this way? Thanks so much for your kind replies. I know if I can get over this then anyone can. Oftentimes I wonder whether I was put on this earth to learn this lesson and give hope to others. Other times I think I must haver been an evil old cow who turned every one into donkeys in a previous life or something to come back like this!

Keep smiling everyone