Hi Everyone,
I'm new to this site, having only discovered it over the weekend and already I can't believe how many people there are out there going through the same thought processes as me. I'm 35 and have battled with health anxiety for as long as I can remember. Things have got particularly bad over recent weeks, so much so that I start with a new therapist tomorrow in Harley Street. I have in the past taken Cipramil, however I feel I want to battle my demons 'clean' without the masking of my fears that anti anxiety medication can often cause. I just wanted to say hi and to introduce myself as I believe this site may well offer me a place of solace when I'm having a bad time of it. FYI...my current fear is stomach cancer. I have lost nearly a stone in 8 weeks and my appetite has dissappeared completely, I feel sick a lot of the time and often gag on the food I'm trying so desperately to eat. Sense, and my partner, mother and friends, tells me that I moved house 8 weeks ago and things have been quite stressful, I have also exerted a lot more energy over the last few months and a 'sane' person could well deduce that it is in fact these factors that have led to my weightloss. However, I'm my mind, weightloss is cancer, and so I now can't eat at all without being so obsessively consumed with fear about the whole process that I am making myself feel 100 times worse. I'm also weighing myself everyday, and freaking out if I lose another pound. I feel like something is restricting me in my throat so eating feels horrid and I just wish I could take a pill and not have to worry about food anymore. My lack of appetite is also freaking me out as up until 8 weeks ago food was the biggest love in my life, and now I feel as though I'm never going to enjoy a meal again. Anyway, just though I'd let you know what sort of place I'm in at the moment...hopefully my first therapy session tomorrow could be the start of a new road for me, one where health and the subsequent anxiety that goes with it isn't the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you're all having a better day than me! x