Hi all,

I have OCD and have been having a rotten time of it.

I had been on citalopram for 2 years and found them to be effective.

But I tried to go back on (after only 2 days of the OCD "flaring up") and my god were the side effects ROUGH. I managed 18 days, culminating in suicidal urges.

After 24 hours off cit I felt a bit better. Yoga and meditation calmed my anxiety, but obviously it's not going to just disappear.

My worst thing is that I have horrible thoughts I'm going to hurt/kill my daughter - which I can't stand.

At the hospital, I was prescribed Seroxat. I took my first 10mg at about 2pm. Anxiety was already rife at that point, but obviously not sure what's "me" and what's the "citalopram".

Last night, I went to bed feeling "OK", but woke at about 3am drenched in sweat and in a panic. Again, could be me, could be the cit, but (and I dread) could be the seroxat.

Some people don't get heightened anxiety on Seroxat, but some do. Can I really cope with another few weeks of heightened anxiety? But can I deal with this without meds?

I really want some advice from fellow suffers - especially ones who suffer quite badly. Can it be done without meds? Do I have to live this hell to get out the other side? Please advise! Any comments would be so welcome.