should i swap???

[nicola1980]

I don't think i will ever be the same person i was before.............i intend to be a better person, if this illness had taught me anything i will never take anything or anyone for granted ever again, this past year has been absolute torture for me and at times i didn't want to live it anymore BUT we WILL all get better and be better people for it stronger people xx

[angel wings]

Me too Pink i would wake up thinking of what symptoms / feelings am i going have today and it completely took over ,so i needed to stop that cycle and have been thinking less and less about them its really hard not too but really has helped me not to dwell on them.
and agreed i didn't want to create a new me i just wanted the old normal me back don't know why they say things like that but just smiled and nodded at the time x

---------- Post added at 19:00 ---------- Previous post was at 18:59 ----------

ahh well said Nicola i didn't think of it like that

[LAURA48]

Hi - well Angel, Nicola and Pink have given me inspiration - having a bad time at the moment - and can see no light at the end of the tunnel - more so this week. Will I ever get well and that worries me - feel cannot live my life like this. Seeing the shrink on Tuesday and will tell him how I have been feeling.

I try and help myself - been doing everything he has told me to do - but hard to stay positive when you feel depressed, anxious and tired.

When I was at work - have always been sympathetic to mentally ill patients and they were often forgotten about - now I think how bad they really must have felt and the system needs changing but that will never happen.

Anyway it's nice to have a site like this to talk to likeminded people.

Sorry to be negative

Love Laura x

---------- Post added at 19:19 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------

This time last year was having a lovely holiday in Cornwall - makes you think!

[pinkdove]

hi laura you will get there, was exactly the same as you, never thought i'd feel normal again, now i am missing my job, thinking about holidays, and generally looking forward again.

this is the single worse thing i have ever had, and i really hit rock bottom, bed bound and agraphobic, so if i can do it you can too, really hope you start to see some positive results soon.

nicola just want to be me again......cant improve on perfection lol

[LAURA48]

Ah thanks Pink - you have certainly been there - remember you telling me you were bed bound and I often think about that. Yes feeling normal is wanting to go back to work, holidays and looking forward and you know when the time is right.

Sure will get there in the end - but sometimes you feel sorry for yourself - don't you!

Thanks again Pink for your kind words.

Laura xx

[TJSMITH]

Thans for the insight pinkdove.
I am going bac gp mon and again in a dilemma wether to change or not been on 30mg for last 6 wees im about 3 months 2 wees into cit, my only problem is checing how i feel all the time do this brings me down, do you think i need to give more time or will a change help with that also its so hard as im unsure of what the pills should really do

---------- Post added at 19:45 ---------- Previous post was at 19:42 ----------

ps angelwings i would be grateful of any tips in breaking that cycle x

[pinkdove]

tj, tell you gp exactly how you feel on monday hun, they are the best people to advise you on meds, i know how you feel, you will know how much better you feel since starting the cit, if you are getting there slowly and can see improvements then it may be worth sticking it out, for me i went as high as 60mg, and never really felt it lifted the depression, and always had low lying anxiety.

having said that the first time i took cit, i was back to work after a few weeks and settled great on 20mg, just wish i had'nt stopped it, thats when i had my last relapse.

good luck on monday, you are doing all the right things, and im promose you, you will get there, and as nicola says be stronger for it.

laura you are entitled to feel sorry for yourself, god knows i have, even last week when i was feeling bad, i was full of self pity, i think if we had a broken leg, then everyone else would feel sorry for us, but theres nothing to see, and people dont understand, so we have to feel sorry for ourselves. take care hun xxxx

[angel wings]

Tj i know how you feel,its so hard to know whether to swap to a different med but it has been 6 months for me to get to this stage on cit i know it works quicker for some people,i was just about ready to give up not so long back and was asking to change but glad i have waited.
Im not really sure how to break the cycle ,i try to think of other things especially in the mornings ,keep myself busy and try and brush off any weird symptoms or thoughts and not worry about them,its easier said than done but the more i don't think about them the better i have been
I am also having talk therapy to help with my agrophobic side to re-train my brain that i am ok when i go out and to tackle busy shops etc which has helped with my confidence just taking small steps at a time x
worth going back to the drs to see what they think its a tricky one x

---------- Post added at 20:36 ---------- Previous post was at 20:34 ----------

Laura sorry your having a bad time at the moment i can definitely relate to how you are feeling right now you will get there xxxxx

[TJSMITH]

Pink dove and Angel wings
Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions it is a tricky one.
I had sunk low enough that i barely funtioned was scared and crying all the time, i now function can do anything its only the analysing my feelings that i have to crack and not sure any pill can really do that.
I am also paying for CBT which is slowly helping, i think the place i and we have come from is so scary at times maybe its just the fear of going backwards that we eep checking how we feel.
I think maybe worth me sticking it out the trouble is i have no confidence in gps.
Laura sending you big hugs like you my biggest fear has always about feeling normal again xxx

[william wallace]

Hiya folks, a wee bit of good news. Andy called at teatime, apologised and told me he was skint, and that's why he had tried it on. I told him that I don't care if he pays me a year from now the main thing is to get the jobs out of the way and finished. So back there on Monday to build the deck, and see Holly.

Having a wee dram tonight

A GP recently said to me, ' this might be as good as it gets' but I've improved immensly sincesometimes they talk shite