I don't feel like going anywhere but...

[jayork]

Ok so i always think to myself 'oh this is gonna be aweful i will be anxious and probably get a panic attack' whenever i'm going anywhere but my question is, should you always force yourself to do things and then after the event pat yourself on the back you did it and believe this will make you better or is their ever a case for not going?

[Wuboo]

I think making yourself do "normal things" is important even if it's a little at a time. I think the more time you avoid doing something the harder it becomes to actually do it. I used to love going to town but now I find the thought quite scary "what if I have a panic attack or vertigo attack". But I am going to do it today so I can get myself used to doing it again.

I'd try not to avoid things. When I had anxiety before years ago I stayed at home most of the time, hardly went out but I missed out on a lot of good times with my mates and decided to push myself to do it because I wouldn't live I'd just exist. What helps me if I'm panicking about something is to think positive thoughts, something that makes me feel good like relaxing in the evening or bathing my son.

[mmb]

I think you should try to balance being quite hard on yourself and be kind to yourself I know it sounds crazy! but one of the things I've learned is that you have to understand your limits and do things that are reachable to you at the moment... there's no point in planning a huge 3 hours trip out if you can barely leave the house... go for 15 minutes first, then try a 30 minutes another day and so you start to build up your confidence... it's very easy to hide but also very dangerous... learn how to be kind to yourself... there's nothing wrong in having a day off from time to time as long as you remember to keep going the next day.

[theharvestmouse]

Agree with both Jayuk20 and mmb, its about setting goals that are achievable, even if they are quite out of your comfort zone. My therapist told me to do things in stages and build up, rather than set a goal thats too far and fail.

I'd say its very important to go through with something even if you do not feel like doing it. It will benefit you and you can take great courage from doing it. If you don't do something and make excuses then you will only feel bad for not going.

[Stormsky]

'Live like you dont have the condition' thats what ive read!
If i have to go somewhere and am feeling anxious, i just say to myself, 'im gona go, and i'll wait til i get home to be anxious' then by the time ive gone out and got home(and realised it wasnt so bad) i find im so happy, that im not anxious when i get in anyway!

[hungrycaterpillar]

I was in a similar position to jayuk a few years ago, I barely left the house and missed out on so much.

When I am highly anxious like now, I tend to do things locally, but always have an escape planned, as in have my car near by or be with a friend who understands I might want to leave at the drop of a hat.

Then, I make myself sit through whatever it is I am doing, no matter how anxious I am, and say to myself, 'stay for 5 more minutes' and keep doing this and I have to say 9 times out of 10 I can stay out for as long as I want to! There's only been a couple of occasions where I have had to 'run away'.

[Munki]

I think it's good to push yourself through mental pain but certainly within reason. I have a tendency to go from one extreme to another ie doing absolutely nothing then jetting off somewhere and doing extreme sports for a couple of weeks. I'm very much an all or nothing person though.

Certain things that we make ourselves do are major achievements for us, however small. Even a trip to a local shop can seem huge to us on bad days. The hard thing is knowing what to do and what not to do. For example, I have had friends that were negative influences on me in the past yet I'd force myself to see them so as not to be defeated. I eventually realised that pushing myself to do this was actually more detrimental than good so I gradually backed off from the friendship which has been for the better. If it's something you think you'd be proud of yourself if you see it through then try to make yourself. Then you'll really feel a sense of self satisfaction

[Lindy]

I'm a bit like Munki, I can't cope with going to the cinema at the moment, yet a few weeks ago I managed two flights on the same day (and I'm the world's worst flyer - I recently had to be let off the plane first after a panic attack, and that was WITH valium!!)

My main problem is that I don't want people to see me not having a good time, (which they will if I'm anxious and wanting to escape) I worry that creates the wrong impression, it's not the real me, at least not most of the time! The downside of that is that I don't always do enough things. =/